


Fill Me In

by ANTchan, rogueshadows



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Honeypot, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mission Fic, Mission Related, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Sparring, Undercover Missions, possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan/pseuds/ANTchan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueshadows/pseuds/rogueshadows
Summary: Bodhi has a hopeless crush on his two best friends that he will never admit. Going on an undercover mission and watching them pretend to be married does nothing to help matters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to ANTchan for beta reading always, and for JOINING ME in writing this! :D

Bodhi’s first instinct at the sight of Han Solo heading towards him is to ignore him and immediately turn in the other direction, knowing the trouble that usually follows the smuggler. He heads towards the small ship he’s been fixing up, trying to look busy, but Han unfortunately follows. “Hey! Hold up there, kid,” Han says placing a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder. 

“What is it, Han?” he asks, giving in to the man’s expectant look. 

Han grins. “I have a bet going, and I wanted your opinion on.” 

_Here we go_ , Bodhi thinks ruefully. 

“I’m not interested in whatever bidding pool you’ve gotten yourself caught up in, Solo,” he says with a raised eyebrow. 

Han doesn’t seem at all put off by Bodhi’s warning. “Well this one you have a vested interest in,” he says. “It’s about your friends, whether or not they're officially involved or if it's all hearsay.” Bodhi doesn’t have to wonder who he’s talking about and he feels more annoyed than before. 

“Please, leave Jyn and Cassian be for Force sake,” he snaps. Han’s expression falls. 

“There’s no harm to it, just a way to boost morale!” Han argues as Bodhi crosses his arms. 

“Why don’t I start one for you and the princess, then?” he quips back and Han actually goes quiet for once. If Bodhi didn’t know better he’d say the man blushes at the suggestion, though the flush could be from anger. He laughs at the glare Han shoots him. 

“Laugh it up,” he mutters before turning to leave Bodhi alone finally. 

“Think of the morale!” Bodhi calls out after him. Han flips him off as he goes and Bodhi snorts, turning back to his work. He really does have things to work on, much to his anxiety, with only days left before he’s meant to fly out again with Jyn and Cassian in the sleek yacht they’d acquired for their next undercover mission. He sighs, looking the equipment readouts over. The hyperdrive to is still in need of a recheck, and there’s a light panel to replace. He decides to do a full system check while he’s there, figuring it will be one less thing to deal with later. He’s so caught up in it that he doesn’t realize Jyn’s arrived until she knocks on the wall in the ship’s entry way. Bodhi startles and nearly drops the hydrospanner he’s holding, catching it swiftly mid air. When he sees it’s only her he grins widely, forgetting any annoyance he had. 

“Hey,” she greets with a smile. “Hope I’m not interrupting too much.” 

“You’d actually be some help,” he admits, “if you’re up to it?” He knows how hard Jyn constantly trains and works around base so he doesn’t want to assume. She smiles, though, and comes to join him without protest, sitting on the floor. She slips easily into his space looking down into the electrical panel. 

“What can I do?” she asks. He shoots off into a quick explanation of the issues he’s found and she helps him run diagnostics, letting him go back and forth between his place and the controls to check each circuit. He enjoys the boring work much more with someone there to fill the silence, something anyone could tell from how much he talks on his own. Jyn knows her way around ships almost as well as he does, more used to speeders than anything skyworthy but still, the work goes by fast with her capable hands to assist him.

“You’re usually off with Cassian,” he observes. “Did Kay finally get on your nerves too much?” 

“Good guess, but not this time. Cassian’s still working, getting more intel on the targets attending the grand ball.” She says the last part with an air of mocking elegance. Bodhi knows how much she hates this plan they’ve committed to, to infiltrate the Imperial gala. He has no doubt she’d rather run into battle than face the vapid crowds and play dress up. She’ll do what she must, of course, but she won’t be happy about it. 

“He must have vetted everyone down to the last guard at this point,” Bodhi says, hands buried in wires as he rechecks the cannon’s alignment. Cassian has been working non-stop for the past few days on this task alone, and Bodhi wishes he would step back a bit. If only just to take a break. 

“I’m sure of it. I know he won’t rest though, so I left him to it instead of arguing,” she says pragmatically. 

“Jyn Erso _not_ arguing? I’m shocked,” he jokes back and she pushes at his shoulder in response, taking the hydrospanner from his pocket easily after distracting him. 

“Don’t get used to it,” she teases, ducking down beneath the floor panel to help finish what he’d started. They finally complete the task and disembark from the ship to find Cassian waiting at the end of the gangplank. Jyn is sweaty from the close quarters of the ship and still wraps her arms around Cassian as he complains half heartedly. He huffs a laugh over her shoulder, making eye contact with Bodhi and lifting a hand to wave hello. 

“Hey Cas,” he says, toying with the goggles in his hand, feeling warm at the sight of them both so relaxed. He has to excuse himself before he does something dumb like hug Cassian too. 

He skirts around them with the excuse of needing to shower and heads back to his and Luke’s shared quarters. These days it’s Luke’s in name more than anything else, what with the bright eyed jedi splitting time between mysterious jedi missions or running off with Wedge rather than sleeping in his own bed. He looks at his lonely possessions and almost misses Luke’s complaining. Still, he’s glad for them. 

The thought of the couple makes him remember how wrapped up in each other Cassian and Jyn were in hangar. It’s no surprise a betting pool has started, considering how at ease they always are with each other. He wonders when Han will realize he’s a day late and a credit short on that one. More introspectively, he wonders when his heart will stop racing at the sight of either of them, or both of them. He wishes he could just chalk it up to jealousy for one or the other, or for his overall loneliness, but deep down he knows it’s something else entirely he will just have to learn to ignore. 

\----

The next day, Cassian comms him early and asks if Bodhi can help him get the last of their supplies from the annex across base. Bodhi agrees blearily and dresses quickly. He goes to leave, only to find Cassian waiting outside his door as he exits. His face goes hot, hoping that Cassian hasn’t been out there too long. Cassian ducks his head with a smile at the sight of Bodhi hurriedly tying his hair back.

“Thought we’d meet in the hangar,” he sputters. Cassian doesn’t seem put out as he quirks a smile. 

“This way we can head out the South Entrance, it’s faster,” he explains and Bodhi feels stupid for not realizing the obvious. He blames his half asleep state instead of thinking too hard on the sight of Cassian’s ruffled hair.

“Of course, closer to the landing pad too,” he says, sliding his door shut with a press of a button and locking it. He’d slipped into a plain t-shirt and work pants, glad to be out of the jumpsuit for once and breathe. He’s unsurprised at Cassian, still wearing one of his countless jackets despite the hot climate. Bodhi almost makes fun of him for it. 

“Couldn’t get Jyn up this early?” he asks. Cassian’s lip twitches upward and he nods. 

“She refused outright and hung up on me,” he admits and looks at Bodhi appraisingly. “Still, you’re not bad company.” 

Bodhi knows the swooping in his stomach at the easy remark is ridiculous. He knows Cassian could have gone alone or asked Kay, figures he must have just been the most convenient, and tucks the warm feeling away. They go out to the annex and Cassian does wind up stripping his jacket off, tying it around his waist neatly as he twists to pick up the small crate containing their emergency rations for the mission. Bodhi watches him carefully, knowing how damaged his back still was after Scarif. He hates worrying over Cassian this way, knows the spy can take care of himself, but still can’t help it. He sees the lines of muscle shifting in his back beneath his thin shirt. He feels heat rise in his cheeks, worry giving way to embarrassed longing. Cassian turns to face him just then and Bodhi tries to bury the thought, looking down at his half of the checklist to cover the fact that he’d been staring.

“I’ll just pack up the uh, guns, next,” he says, busying himself. Cassian smiles and Bodhi knows he’s noticed the blush, making it even worse as Bodhi goes off to the opposite side of the supply shed. They load up the hover crates without incident and leave them on the landing pad with instructions to be loaded up before the trip the next morning. 

Bodhi is about to leave when Cassian places a hand on his arm, stilling Bodhi with the touch.

“If you want to join, I was going to head down to the workout center for a bit,” he says, looking hopeful but not pressuring. Bodhi knows he has to work more on his physical training if he wants to keep flying field missions, on Draven’s orders of course. He’s been avoiding it half out of embarrassment and half simply because he preferred working on ships when he had the down time. The thought of training with Cassian makes him nervous, but he finds himself nodding all the same, unable to deny the man. Bodhi promises to meet him and goes to change into his workout clothes.

He convinces himself this is a great idea and also a test. After all, if he can’t even pretend to be normal around his friend now then how can he expect to go undercover in the following few days. On the way down to the center he runs into Jyn heading in the same direction and tries not to feel more nervous. He supposes he should have guessed, with all the pent-up energy she and Cassian always built up before missions. 

“You’re actually training for once?” she asks, sounding amused. He blushes, feeling suddenly over exposed in his tank top - even though Jyn wears something much the same. Maybe that observation is where his real problem lies. 

“Yeah, Cassian thought it would be good entertainment for you both. Glad you woke up in time to see it,” Bodhi teases back. She rolls her eyes but grins still. When they reach the room, Cassian is already stretching out on the mats, barely dressed in a tank and shorts. He smiles brightly and Bodhi bites his lip at the sight, hoping Jyn doesn’t catch the way his entire body goes still. 

“Want to spar?” Cassian asks and Bodhi deflects the offer with a shake of the head. Jyn shoots him a considering look .

“I’m a bit out of sorts um, I’ll just be over on the grav mill,” he says awkwardly, retreating to the line of the machines, trying to ignore the flash of disappointment on Cassian’s face. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spar, he actually enjoyed the few rounds he went against Luke from time to time. It was just the thought of Cassian pressed against him and eventually pinning him that made it a problem.

Bodhi stretches out his legs, feeling Jyn’s eyes on him from across the room. He curses himself for not coming up with a better excuse, getting on the machine before either can try to convince him to join after all. He starts off at an even pace, and is relieved to know they won’t push. They never push.

He doesn’t know why he’s so caught off guard when he catches the sight of them sparring against each other out of the corner of his eye. He turns subtly to watch even as he jogs, careful not to fall flat on his face despite the distraction. 

Jyn circles around Cassian, looking fierce until they strike out at each other. It’s a blur of motion but still their grace together is beautiful, the give and take to get the upper hand between them in constant balance. His neck aches from looking but still he can’t look away. Cassian pulls a move that sends them both sprawling to the ground and he hears Jyn laugh but can’t make out her words. He’s leaning over her, laughing back with some remark as their faces slide closer. Bodhi’s pulse skyrockets from more than the machine as he forces himself to turn away from their kiss.

He wishes he wasn’t such a coward so he could look, or worse, touch. He shouldn’t be thinking like that about either of them though, shouldn’t be watching like some kriffing sleemo. He hears a groan and turns back once more to see that Jyn has reversed their positions, sitting proudly on top of Cassian with a smug grin. She looks over at him then and he does nearly trip as she calls out to him. Cassian is looking too, still pinned to the ground by Jyn’s hand on his chest.

“You sure you don’t want to go a round?” she asks playfully. He swallows hard at the thought with both of them still watching expectantly. He knows they’re just teasing, that he should feel good that they trust him enough not to hide whatever’s blossoming between them, and he can’t imagine why they’d actually want to break that up to spar with him. Bodhi schools his face into a rueful look as he shakes his head, not able to face them, feeling guilty over his inappropriate thoughts. He gets off the grav mill not too long after, making an excuse about having last minute work to do, hoping even if they know it’s a lie they won’t press. Jyn calls after him, still sounding breathless from another round on the mats. He shouts back something about catching up at dinner as he flees.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many thanks to ANTchan for beta'ing and to SassySnowperson too, for cheerleading this fic a few months back (even when I never actually finished anything). Another special mention to Water_drops for leaving a really nice comment that motivated me to look at this again! 
> 
> Going to try my best to keep this going at a faster pace than every 9 months...

Bodhi doesn’t see Jyn and Cassian later on. They both skip out on dinner in the mess to meet with Draven instead. Bodhi would usually be annoyed at not being included in the meeting but now he considers it a blessing, with the images of them sparring together still burned in his mind. He gets his food to go and settles in his room to look over the dossier for the mission again, needing to be sure he’s memorized as much as possible before they fly out in the morning. 

Bodhi’s role in the mission is simple enough as far as his cover is concerned, at least, to serve as Cassian’s valet on the trip. Or ‘ _Viscount Jonas Drayton’s’_ valet to be more accurate. Cassian’s role, alongside Jyn, is to pose as members of nobility sent to schmooze about with the rich and dreadful at Alex Serasai’s extravagant party. Bodhi won’t have to do much other than obey Cassian and Jyn’s orders, and do a bit of supportive spying while Cassian and Jyn do whatever it is rich people are meant to do. Mingle and simper about the state of the glorious Empire or the latest Coruscanti fashions, maybe? 

Bodhi tries to tamp down his nerves at the thought of being around so many people that would love nothing more than to kill them. He really wishes they could bring K2 with them but knows exactly how much attention that would draw, two private citizens with a security droid on a leisure trip is simply a no go. It’s miracle enough that they’d managed to slip a copy of the invitation in the first place and they must be very careful not to raise suspicion. 

Through a series of correspondences with their hosts, under his new persona, Cassian had managed to do them one better, getting them invited out early before the rest of the Imps arrive. It gives them more than enough time to scout out the premises without too much additional scrutiny.

But as impressive as it is, Bodhi knows the longer they spend time undercover, the higher their chances are of being caught. 

As Bodhi skims through a few of the letters filed in the dossier, he feels his disdain for the people they’ll be spending the week with galvanized already. He has a feeling that burying that down might be the hardest task of all. He supposes his former years in the Empire have prepared him for that much though. Cassian and Jyn will have to blend in with them and get as much information as possible about the possible outspread of Imperial occupation and movement along the Perlemian Trade Route. It’s something Serasai’s company appears to have a vested interest in. The hope is that he’ll have at least some information to be extracted in his personal computers if they can only gain access.

Bodhi hopes the mission will be as straightforward as it seems but knows to prepare for the worst. As he lays down for a last night’s rest in his familiar cramped bunk he just hopes they can all get back safe when it’s said and done.

\----

Bodhi pilots them off base early the next morning without a hitch, setting off for Naboo. The flight to the mid rim will take hours in the yacht (also known, quite pretentiously, as _Obsidian Phoenix_ ), leaving Bodhi anxious with so little to do once the coordinates have been set. Cassian comes up to take the co-pilot's seat and Bodhi has to push away lingering thoughts of the day before. If Cassian had noticed anything about the way Bodhi finds himself staring at Jyn and himself more and more often lately, he doesn’t show it. Fortunately for Bodhi, he’s more focused on the mission ahead. Cassian sits stiff in his seat, looking over the maps of the mansion grounds he’s somehow attained. The clear tension in his shoulders almost makes Bodhi want to reach out, press a hand between Cassian’s shoulder blades just to relieve it. He shakes his head of the ridiculous idea almost as soon as it comes, focusing his attention at the expanse of stars ahead.

He manages not to look over again for a while at least, enjoying the calm of flight while he can. But the draw is too strong when Jyn finally returns, stepping up behind Cassian to read over his shoulder. She seems restless as ever in the small space of the cockpit, pressing further into the space to lay a hand on Cassian’s shoulder, almost the way Bodhi had imagined, before she speaks. 

“Ready to play husband and wife yet, _Jonas_?” she asks Cassian, breaking him from his sharp focus, no doubt sensing just how much he needs it. Cassian doesn’t protest the interruption, looking up from the data pad with a smirk.

“Assholes who just happen to be married, Cara _darling,_ ” Cassian corrects, with an added layer of honeyed sarcasm.

“If only Kay were human, he’d play that role perfect,” she says wistfully.

Cassian shakes his head, fighting back a real smile. Bodhi shares a look of amusement with Jyn, knowing that as much as they all complain about Kay they’ll all miss him on the mission. And know how much harder it will be without his protection. Even without his usual companion, Jyn’s presence alone seems to soften Cassian’s edges, making Bodhi feel more at ease too, hopeful that the mission will be as clear cut as all the recon would make it seem. 

He tries to keep that feeling with him even as the distance closes on their destination, taking a deep breath and settling in for the last stretch.

\--- 

After hours of uneventful flight they finally approach the swirling cerulean planet. They enter atmo and Bodhi straightens his plain disguise nervously, taking in the sight of the planet’s lush scenery, swooping over the domed roofs of the old capital. The villa comes into view faster than Bodhi thought it would, a beautiful manor nestled into the shore line of a massive lake. Cassian comes up behind him, peeking over Bodhi’s shoulder through the viewport. 

“It’s gorgeous,” Bodhi admits, staring out admiringly while also trying to map the place in his mind, the constant awareness that something could go wrong cutting through the calm.

Cassian hums in agreement, but when Bodhi glances his way his expression is hard. With his face clean shaven he looks almost like a stranger, dressed in the crisp white shirt and tan suit that serves as his disguise.

“It’s easy to see how the Empire keeps people in line with rewards like this,” Cassian says, backing off to settle in the co-pilot’s seat for landing. Bodhi nods, mostly to himself, the hum of anxiety over the people they will have to deal with for the next few days returning as they grow closer, hoping Cassian and Jyn won’t be forced into something too terrible and knowing all too well just how far Cassian has been forced to take things before. 

There’s no way to voice his concern without seeming faithless and to offer anything more tender would be transparent, to say the least. A complication none of them needs. All he can do is focus on the landing, gliding the ship down to land on the water, at the edge of the Serasai’s private dock.

When they set down he looks back at Cassian once more, observing his unreadable expression as he scans out the window for any sign that their cover was blown before they arrived. Jyn comes up from the cabin and takes her spot behind him the jump seat, dressed in a blue flowing gown that is beautiful but makes her look nothing like herself.

“They’re already on the dock,” Jyn says, spotting the Serasais before Bodhi gains the strength to look away from her.

Cassian’s straightens up at her warning, already closing himself off and getting into character as Bodhi bites back the urge to speak. He knows Cassian is strong, that he can do this work backwards and in his sleep to convince people he is on their side, and still he almost wants to wish him luck. It’s a childish thought and he pushes it aside like so many others. 

The aquatic functions leave the ship buoyed in the calm water. Once the engines are locked down Jyn stands, crowding into the space between Cassian and Bodhi’s seat. He rotates his seat so he can meet her gaze, her eyes sharp with intent. She places a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder and as much as it takes him by surprise, he doesn’t flinch.

She knows him too well, can probably read the anxiety he’s feeling from a mile off, and it feels like a promise when she speaks. 

“We’ve got this, alright?”

“If you say so,” Bodhi says, earning him a smile. He’d follow her no matter what. Bodhi glances back towards Cassian, catching the warmth in his eyes when he looks between Jyn and Bodhi. The look settles into something steadfast, assurance that makes Bodhi feel as ready as he ever will be. 

He opens the door of the shuttle and lowers the gangplank.

\---

Alex and Maris Serasai stand imposingly at the far edge of the dock waiting to greet their guests. As he disembarks from the _Obsidian Phoenix_ , Bodhi notices how the couple perks up and waves, already keen to appear as the perfect hosts. The blaring smiles and stiff handshakes they share with Cassian and Jyn are a harsh reminder of the Imperial dignitaries from his childhood who would visit the _simply tragic_ children of Jedha. He puts on a blank face to hide his resentment before realizing they’d probably never think to look at someone so inconsequential as a valet in the first place.

“It’s such a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Serasai, honestly, the invite was such a charming thought of you,” Jyn says gushing to the couple already. Serasai grins back.

“The pleasure is all ours. The gala is simply not to be missed and it’s an honor that you stay with us. Please, call me Alex,” he says as his wife nods along.

“And I’m Maris. I share my husband’s sentiments entirely,” the wife says, sharing a smile with Jyn like they’re old friends. “It’s so marvelous to meet with nobility after all. With the admiralty it’s all war talk it’ll be nice to have someone more cultured around.”

“I can’t promise all that,” Cassian says with a charming smirk. “We will try to live up to our standing though, especially amongst others clearly so alike in dignity.” After that Bodhi tunes out the circle jerk of compliments that the Serasai’s fawn over so easily. It’s only Jyn’s use of his fake name snaps him back to attention.

“Oh Jonas, shouldn’t we send Sahar to our room with the bags? I doubt there’s much more we’d need him for here with such gracious hosts,” Jyn cuts in. Cassian smiles at her and snaps his fingers at Bodhi impersonally.

“Of course, my love. Sahar you heard your mistress, find our quarters and make sure my suits are pressed and up to par with our lovely surroundings,” he says, playing his charming and dismissive role perfectly. Bodhi simply nods, not quite up for reciting titles and placations just yet.

“Maison will guide your valet to the guest suite, of course,” Maris adds, blathering on a little more about the accommodations before leading Cassian and Jyn away for a tour of the grounds, all of them conversing lightly about the most shallow of topics. Cassian has already sidled closer to the husband, Alex, and Bodhi knows the other man is already charmed by his laughter as they go. Bodhi hates it already, but dutifully draws his gaze away, as not to draw suspicion.

If the butler notices anything of Bodhi at all he doesn’t show it, expression impassive as Bodhi clamors to collect the luggage from the yacht. The servant certainly doesn’t offer any help in that regard, not moving from his spot until Bodhi comes back to his side, loaded up with bags and realizing he’ll have to make a second trip, and possibly a third. He resigns himself to it, nodding once at the man, feeling too stilted and unwelcome to bother with pleasantries, sure they would only raise the danger of giving himself away.

The butler doesn’t seem to mind the quiet that stretches between them, leading Bodhi up into the house and down a long hallway of guest rooms as he’s been ordered. There are other servants flitting about in preparation for the impending party, the whole house abuzz with life. As they walk Bodhi tries his best to focus and remember the path and especially to take note of anything of interest. They go through a back stairway, servants’ passages of course, and are soon in the tower where the suite has been prepared.

Bodhi sets down the bags in his arms and sighs, turning on his heel to go back for the rest of them.

\---

Jyn slips her way into the room just as Bodhi has finished hanging Cassian’s suits in the closet. Bodhi pauses for an awkward beat before greeting her, trying his best to seem proper when he realizes the butler from before is with her.

“M-mistress, I brought everything up, all according to your wishes.”

“Hush, I haven’t asked you for details,” Jyn cuts him off. Bodhi nods, folding his hands together behind his back, standing at attention in some approximation.

“Madam, If you’d like I can show your valet where the servants quarters are,” the butler offers as if scripted, with a glance to Bodhi who tries not to jump at the first sound of the man’s voice he’s heard.

“No need, he’ll sleep fine on the floor. We prefer to keep him on hand,” she says, her demeanor purposefully callous. The butler doesn’t argue with her, can’t because of her supposed high station. 

“As you wish my lady,” the butler says just as patient. She waves him away, all but shutting the door in her face, taking a few steps further into the room but letting her voice carry. She complains that Bodhi hasn’t taken out her jewelry yet, berating him loudly until the butler is surely gone from the hall. She slumps out of her formal posture and meets Bodhi’s eyes with a sigh.

Bodhi opens his mouth but then thinks better of it, knowing Cassian would be disappointed if they didn’t sweep for bugs first, no matter how unlikely they might seem. Jyn catches on, starting on her own half of the room by searching through the vanity drawers. With the task split between the two of them it doesn’t take long before the room is cleared. Jyn flops back down on the seat of the vanity.

“This is going to be exhausting,” she complains.

“Oh yes, being doted upon will be _so hard_ for you,” he says, gesturing to the bags he’d carried to the room all by himself over the course of three trips. There isn’t even much of anything in them (aside from whatever weapons Jyn managed to stash) but the illusion was important. 

“At least you don’t have to wear a dress while you do it,” she snipes back. “Speaking of, can you unzip me? I know I have to go back down soon but I feel like I’m being suffocated.” He rolls his eyes and unzips the back of the dress, watching as she breathes deeply in relief. He runs his fingers back up her back thoughtlessly tracing the zipper and she huffs a laugh. He startles, remembering himself as he pulls away. 

“Cassian’s still off with your gracious hosts?” he asks and she nods, turning on the vanity seat to face him.

“Yes, he’s been roped into a tour of the study by ’Call me Alex’ Serasai. I’d have been taken off by the wife but I insisted I was far too warp-lagged to be good company,” she explains. Bodhi assumes this is what the next few days will consist of, unfortunately.

“Did you see the security room on the way down here?” she asks. Bodhi nods, taking a seat on the foot of the bed so he’s not hovering so awkwardly. 

“Yes, it’s a floor down when you first enter this wing, on the...right,” he says, using the memory tricks Cassian has taught him to visualize it in his mind. He wouldn’t have known it was any different if he didn’t see the door open and shut briefly to reveal the monitors.

“Exactly. Cassian talked Serasai into a full tour of it. Seemed pretty advanced from the boasting I pretended not to listen to.”

“That means a challenge, doesn’t it?” he says, anxiety mounting as he knows that working around it will fall to him. He really wishes they’d smuggled Kay in to do the job instead, manners be damned. Jyn hums in agreement.

“Don’t worry just yet. Cassian should get enough off of Serasai without us having to resort to anything too drastic,” she says, calming his nerves only marginally. “And if not, we have every bit of faith in you. So don’t look so grim.”

Bodhi nods, forcing himself to push his doubts aside, knowing there’s no place for them. _Even if their lives are riding on it…_ Nope. Not thinking about it at all.

Thankfully, Jyn doesn’t linger on the subject, not when they have so little intel to go off of yet. She stands instead, stretching her back and stepping over to the side of the bed. She throws open the first of their many suitcases without ceremony, frowning down at the contents.

It’s the one with her wardrobe packed tightly inside, all the frilled frocks and glittering bodices that she’s meant to wear for her cover. 

“It’s only a week long trip. How many outfits did the princess lend me?” Jyn gripes, sounding incredulous as she pulls out one after another, holding them up for inspection. She stops at a bright pink one with a glare and Bodhi can’t hold back a small laugh. 

“Almost as many as the amount of jackets Cassian owns,” Bodhi jokes, earning him a smile. 

“For the trouble they just should have sent _her_ with Cassian,” Jyn mutters, even though they both know Leia is too recognizable for that. And that Jyn would be as much of a wreck as he would if Cassian was off of the base without her for too long. He doesn’t voice the thought, knowing Jyn prefers not to acknowledge that sort of codependency. 

A soft knock at the door has Bodhi straightening up, tension returning to his shoulders as he goes to answer. Jyn takes a seat on the bed, getting into character by schooling her face into bored impatience. He rehearses a simple greeting in his head before he opens the door, trying to stick to his role. He opens it and to his relief it’s Cassian who pushes past him to come inside. 

With the door half open still, Bodhi keeps up the act for a moment, just in case. 

“Hey, uh, hello sir. I’ve started to unpack your clothes as you requested,” he says as he shuts the door with a click, leaning back against it. 

Cassian smiles, like he hasn’t quite shook off his charming act.“We’re out of earshot now, but that’s very thoughtful of you.” Jyn wastes no time in getting up, coming over close into Cassian’s space. She looks suddenly anxious, only stilling fully when Cassian reaches out to take her hand in his own. 

“How is it going so far?” she asks, looking strained already though the mission’s just begun. Bodhi wishes he understood where it was coming from, what he must have missed between the landing and now that could have her so openly concerned. 

“It went well,” Cassian answers, voice going soft, his fingers trace over her wrist like a reassurance. It’s like he’s not there at all and Bodhi suddenly wonders if that’s the point. He forces his eyes away, resolving to give them their privacy. Of course there would be things between them that had nothing to do with him.

The pang of worry won’t quite leave but he quiets it all the same, busying himself by picking up some of the strewn dresses from the bed to hang them.

“You don’t really have to,” Jyn says, breaking away from Cassian’s orbit. Bodhi shakes his head.

“It’s fine, less risk of you burning them, right?”

“I wouldn’t,” Jyn says. “Not until after the trip at least…”

“The glares you were shooting said otherwise.” Bodhi smiles at Cassian’s huff of laughter.

“Well, I hate to say so but we do have to get ready for dinner soon,” Cassian says. “It’s a bit more formal than our traveling clothes.”

“I don’t even know how to get into some of these things,” she complains looking warily at the wardrobe.

“I’m afraid you’re on your own for a bit. Bodhi’s my attendant, for appearances sake he’ll have to come to the dressing room with me,” Cassian murmurs looking through his own suits. Bodhi raises an eyebrow and speaks, his voice sounding a bit tight.

“Um, are we certain that’s necessary? I mean, I hardly think anyone around here cares who dresses you,” he says. Cassian shrugs but Bodhi can swear he sees a hint of blush at the ridiculousness of the situation. (And he definitely hears Jyn snort.) 

“Normally I’d say so too, but that butler is keeping a closer eye than I’d like. He walked me all the way back to the hall even though I tried to dismiss him. I’m worried if he catches us doing anything off he may tell our hosts,” Cassian explains. 

“Well, um, I suppose I should then,” Bodhi agrees hesitantly, grabbing one of the formal suits he’s just put away for Cassian to change into. Jyn is eying the dress left on the bed with no shortage of irritation and Bodhi is almost unsure if she should be left with it.

“Go on then, the faster he’s ready the faster you can come back to help zip me back up,” Jyn says, starting to slip her travel dress off her shoulders even as she says it, finally spurring Bodhi into motion as he averts his eyes.

The gentleman’s dressing room is connected through the bathroom, a small room with a three way mirror, a seat for shining shoes and an array of brushes on the table he’s not exactly certain what to do with.

“I’ll try to be quick,” Cassian says with a smirk, stripping off his other suit like it’s nothing. Bodhi turns away but can’t help the quick glimpse of skin he catches in the corner of the mirror. Heat rushes to his face and he bites his lip.

“So, I mean, _master_ , do you think they’ll be any need for me at dinner?” he asks in code in case anyone is listening in the hall. He hadn’t checked in here for bugs, not yet. Cassian lets out a put upon sigh at the formal title, probably holding back a laugh.

“No, I think not. You’ll attend to our things as usual and have a bath run for when we return.” That’s good, it means there will be some time for Bodhi to settle in at least and that they’ll talk after dinner about the next move to make. And about the details he’d garnered from his tour.

“You can turn around you know,” Cassian says, quietly amused, making Bodhi realize how ridiculously childish he must seem staring blankly at the wall. He turns as requested and swallows hard at the sight of Cassian’s bare chest. He’s standing closer than Bodhi had realized. Cassian slides his arms into the white crisp sleeves of his dress shirt, thankfully unaware of just how fraught Bodhi feels.

Cassian’s half way through buttoning the shirt when he finally looks up giving Bodhi just enough time to break away from ogling him too obviously.

“You’ll be okay, right?” Cassian asks and it takes Bodhi’s mind a moment to catch up and realize he’s talking about the mission, not Bodhi's present personal crisis. Bodhi nods, gathering what little confidence he has, trying not to get overwhelmed by the idea of the slicing job he might have ahead of him. That he’ll have his own chance to look around when they’ve all gone off to dinner.

“I’ll do my best,” he answers honestly. Cassian takes a step back and Bodhi nearly sighs at the sight all over again before Cassian finishes the last few buttons up to his collar. Bodhi busies himself, grabbing Cassian’s suit jacket off the hanger just for something to do with his hands, running the soft fabric through his fingers until Cassian reaches out for it.

 _“Master,”_ Bodhi says jokingly and Cassian smiles, taking the velvet jacket and slipping it on. It fits like a glove and Cassian looks every bit like the royalty he’s meant to be. Probably better, in all honesty.

“Will I pass muster?” Cassian asks running his hands down the lapels to smooth them, looking over himself in the mirror idly. He looks every inch the picture of an elite, if not for the slight detail of his hair, mussed from the humidity and travel. Bodhi wants nothing more than to run his fingers through it, feel the way it tangles in his grip. He reels himself back in to rationality, clearing his throat and hoping Cassian doesn’t catch on. 

“Only if we do something with your hair, I think,” Bodhi says going over to the counter where he knows he’s seen something that’ll do the trick. He picks up the canister and sniffs it, surely enough it’s gel infused with sapflower nectar, the kind he’d seen Coruscanti elites use in all the holos. He holds the canister out but but Cassian hesitates to take it.

“I don’t want to get it all over the suit,” he says, “besides, you have a better view.” Cassian steps closer, tipping into Bodhi’s space enough to give easy access. For a moment Bodhi wonders if he’s still fantasizing (or worse, if Cassian knows just what he’s doing) before forcing himself to comply. 

He slips his hand into the jar and coats his fingers before stepping into Cassian’s space. Cassian stills as Bodhi lifts his hand running his fingers and the product through Cassian’s hair. Bodhi tries to focus on the task and not how close they’re standing. He repeats the motion a few times, tamping down all the flyaway hairs as Cassian tips forward to give him better access. 

Bodhi smooths his hand over one last time and pulls back, noticing that Cassian had shut his eyes. He chuckles softly and Cassian opens them, a smile playing at his lips as he turns to look at himself in the mirror. 

“Now you look like a million credits,” Bodhi says turning away and rubbing the gel off his hands with a cloth from the dresser. Definitely not dwelling on the warm look Cassian had shot him when he opened his eyes. 

“Let’s hope that’s enough, c’mon let’s check on Jyn,” Cassian says after a final glance, Bodhi follows him back to the main suite.

\----

They walk into the bedroom and the sight of Jyn, woefully tangled in one of the dresses they’d brought nearly has them both breaking character. Bodhi bites his lip and Cassian’s shoulders shake with silent laughter as he grins. To be fair to her it’s one of the more elaborate dresses, making him wonder why she even went for it. Now with her head caught in what appears to be the garment’s sleeve, with just her face peeking out, Bodhi figures she regrets it. After the first few snickers Cassian doesn’t miss a beat, managing to compose himself enough to speak with some semblance of normalcy.

“Sweetheart, I’m off to have a smoke with Alex before dinner, Sahar will attend to you while you get ready,” he says. She glares but doesn’t bother to protest.

“Of course _darling_ , I’ll be down for dinner shortly,” she says sharply. Cassian smiles and waves to Bodhi as he leaves. Jyn turns her gaze hopelessly to Bodhi once he’s gone and it’s almost ridiculous enough for him to forget she’s half naked. It had to be a kriffing joke that he was meant to suffer both of his crushes in some state of undress on the same day. 

“How?” he asks, in sheer puzzlement, approaching her and trying to figure out what happened to get her so stuck. 

“I don’t kriffing know, all the parts looked the same once I took it off the hanger, there’s just too much fabric. It’s not practical!” she complains while trying to keep her voice down. Bodhi shakes his head with an amused grin, looks down at her exposed torso and back up quickly before he lifts his hands to help her out. Once she’s freed she sits in her breast band and underwear on the bed looking over at the dress suspiciously. 

“Would you like to try on something else?” he asks. She nods gratefully. He picks out one of the less ornate outfits, a long indigo gown with galaxy patterns hand painted across the bottom. The back is beaded with clasps to close it and Bodhi hopes Jyn won’t feel quite so trapped in it. He hands it over to her and turns to let her have some privacy but she laughs making him glance back over his shoulder.

“Bodhi, just stay. You’ve seen me in less,” she says. It’s true, but that had been with an open wound on her torso. He thinks this is a bit different. He doesn’t say that though, just watches her step into the gown with ease, pulling up the soft silk straps over her shoulders. She tries to reach for the clasps on her own at first but Bodhi sighs and steps close behind her to do them up. The beads are delicate so he tries to keep his hands steady as he goes and not get distracted.

After, she brushes her hair, tries to do an updo and it falls from the bun almost instantly. He knows he’ll have to play hair stylist again considering the frustrated look on her face with humor.

“I can’t pull off anything as crazy as Leia’s hairstyles but just, let me, please,” he says as he gestures for her to sit in front of the vanity. He does a simple braid and wraps it around in a swirl, pinning it up so it stays in place.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” she asks looking impressed when she turns to see the side view of hair in the mirror.

“Jedha,” he says with a smile, for once not thinking of the baggage of his home planet, more focused on warm memories of his mother showing him how to braid her hair when his hands were barely big enough for the task. He wants to tell Jyn all of this but knows there’s no time for sentiment here, no matter how at ease they feel.

“It’s lovely,” she answers and he lets himself think, _maybe another time_.

\---

A servant fetches Jyn for dinner soon after and Bodhi finds himself alone. Meaning it’s time to do some recon work of his own while the hosts and many of the servants are occupied. He’s less anxious than he thinks he should be, wandering the halls and taking everything in. He counts the number of doors down the hall, peeking into those that don’t seem to be occupied. He mostly finds other guest rooms. He’s surprised at how lax the security is and how easily he can spot their patterns after just a short time - it seems that a patrol goes through every half hour or so if the ones he has dodged are following a typical schedule. 

He’s sure on the night of the gala it might be ramped up, what with the Imperial dignitaries flying in from all over. He’s almost certain they’ll be focused on the main hall though, leaving the perfect opening for him and Cassian to slip into Alex’s office and get the files they need while Jyn keeps an eye out at the gala and circulates. He’ll need to observe more over the next few days for sure but after an hour he feels more confident. He goes back to the room to wait, figuring it’s been enough time to go back. 

Bodhi looks out the window at Jyn and Cassian eating on the veranda. How even from here he can tell how rapt and charmed the hosts are by whatever Cassian is going on about. He knows he’s meant to just wait around until he sees them leave but decides to take a quick shower while he’s there. After the day of work, especially hauling the luggage before, he was definitely in need. _I’ll be quick,_ he thinks but once he’s under the spray he finds he’s far too comfortable.

He thinks about lots of things, running through the hallway maps in his mind so he’ll have good intel for Cassian. He loses track of time entirely until he hears a knock on the door. He freezes in horror that he’s somehow messed up the mission, that it’s going to be the awful butler. Bodhi scrambles out and covers himself with a towel and as if on cue Cassian bursts into the room, meeting Bodhi’s eyes and looking a bit taken aback. Bodhi thinks there’s still shampoo in his hair as his heart is beats rapidly from the scare.

“You startled me,” he hisses, trying to bring down his anxiety moment by moment. Cassian ducks his head looking amused but thankfully not laughing outright at what a sight Bodhi must be.

“Sorry, just wanted you to know we were back.” He looks flushed and it must be from the steam in the room. Cassian runs a hand through his hair without thinking and messes up the gel, making it stick up in all directions. Bodhi can’t help but laugh as ridiculous as he feels standing there still. He’s about to tell Cassian that he can leave the fresher now that Bodhi obviously knows they’re back. Jyn pokes her head into the fresher too and Bodhi feels himself blushing all over again.

“I’ll be out just...wait a second,” Bodhi says, trying to keep the strain of frustration from his voice. Cassian shuffles out of the room and Jyn says something Bodhi can’t quite make it out as the door shuts. 

Bodhi composes himself and slips his simple sleep clothes on feeling embarrassed still. Taking advantage of the luxe accommodations was unprofessional and he knows he should have waited until they came back, _for Force sake, what was he thinking?_

Bodhi emerges from the fresher and sees that Jyn and Cassian have already changed into their own luxe pajamas. Jyn doesn’t look quite comfortable, pushing up the falling straps of her nightgown in annoyance when they fall off her shoulder. Cassian has opted not to wear a shirt to bed, sitting at the foot of it wearing only a soft looking pair of sleep pants that fall low on his hips. Jyn joins him there, leaving enough room that Bodhi could just fit between them. If he wanted to.

(If he could _admit_ what he wants.)

He fidgets in the doorway a moment until Cassian tilts his head to come closer.

“It’s still safe to talk in here,” Cassian says, voice hushed all the same. Bodhi knows they’d swept the room for bugs hours ago but it never hurts to be cautious, he’ll have to sit close to listen in on what they’ve discovered over dinner. Bodhi walks further into the room, grabbing the seat from the vanity and pushing it close to the bed instead of joining the couple on it. There was only so much he could take in a night and seeing them both change earlier had been his limit, nevermind the thought of brushing against them now when they were still half dressed.

“Did you get anything from them over dinner?” Bodhi asks, hoping maybe enough had slipped that his rusty hacking skills might not be needed after all. Cassian shakes his head looking disappointed.

“No, but we’ve been invited out with him and his wife tomorrow, I might still be able to get him to loosen up and discuss things,” Jyn purses her lips. “From the tour earlier there’s something we need to discuss...the security on Serasai’s office-”

“It’s hackable like anything else, Cassian,” Jyn breaks in, crossing her arms over her chest.

“It is, but, Bodhi you have to know, it’s no longer our safest option. I want you to hold back.”

“Cassian, you can’t just-”

“Jyn, you know-”

“You know Bodhi can do it!”

“Do we really know that?” Bodhi whispers, trying to lighten the mood, to break in between their bickering, hating how uneasy it makes him feel to see them at odds. Jyn fixes him with an un-amused glance before focusing back on Cassian with a distinct concern in her eyes. Cassian ignores Bodhi’s words entirely, answering Jyn’s question instead.

“I’m in intelligence, Jyn, remember? We _agreed_ before we left that I would...take lead.” She doesn’t look convinced at all by the words. It’s not uncommon for them to disagree in the field but not usually about tactics like this.

“What makes it so unsafe?” Bodhi asks, cutting in, hoping to get a more balanced answer from one of them to help form some opinion of his own. 

“It’s too similar to the one we tried to get into on Chandrila, too many layers of code on the lock to get in quickly without being noticed. Even with the gala as distraction, it’s too dangerous.”

“Those combination locks are pretty secure,” Bodhi admits, brow furrowing. 

“We could still try it,” Jyn murmurs, leaving Bodhi unsure of what side to commit to. His instinct to trust each of them thrown into upheaval at their disagreement, coupled with the fact that Cassian so rarely pulls back from a plan. The fact that Jyn seems so adamant that Bodhi slice in, even with the risks laid out.

“I can get enough information from Serasai my own way. Maybe even gain access to his office. If you’ll just trust me to do my job,” Cassian promises, meeting Bodhi’s eyes. “I won’t risk you because I…”

He trails off and Jyn’s hackles finally seem to lower a bit. Cassian looks her way in the silence, some quiet communication passing between the two of them. Something intimate he has no hope of understanding.

Whatever it is that they aren’t telling him has them both on edge. Maybe it was something from the briefing with Draven he’d been shut out of, above his pay grade, too important to let him screw up. 

(Could Serasai be more dangerous than he appeared? Bodhi’s stomach goes tight at the thought of Cassian left alone with him for any longer than necessary, asking questions that could set off alarm at any time, even if it is for the greater good.) 

Somewhere in their silent conversation, Jyn seems to give in. “Fine,” she says, sighing and crawling up the bed to settle on her side of it. “But I still want Bodhi to take a look at the security.”

Cassian glances from her back to Bodhi, leaving him an opening to answer.

“Doesn’t hurt to be prepared, right? That way...if you need me, I’ll try.”

“I know,” Cassian says, following up quietly, voice gentle as Bodhi has ever heard it. “Bodhi, It’s not that I don’t believe you can do it.”

Bodhi shakes his head, standing and tucking the vanity seat back into place, echoing the quiet of his tone. “You don’t have to explain.”

He’ll find out what he can over the next few days, try to be prepared for the worst. And even if his role in the mission is diminished sharply, worrying over the two of them will be more than enough to keep him busy.

Bodhi sleeps crushed up on the small velvet couch that night with the two of them curled up on the bed feet away. The soft sound of them breathing, soothing and deep, helps keep the silence at bay. In this strange place, it’s all it takes to help Bodhi feel a little less alone. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to ANTchan for beta'ing this mess.
> 
> Warning: Discussion of possible infidelity for the sake of the mission.

It’s far too early the next morning when Bodhi is roused from sleep by a sharp knock at the bedroom door. He buries his face further into the pillow at first, clutching it tight and hoping whoever it is will go away. Until he remembers where he is, on Naboo of all places. On a mission where the slightest mistakes might raise suspicion.

Bodhi scrambles off of his makeshift bed to answer, trying not to wince at the harshness of the light that streams into the room. He gives his sleep clothes a cursory adjustment before tipping the door open, revealing a professional looking young maid. 

She stares at him blankly for a brief moment. “Master and Mistress Serasai wish to inform your masters that breakfast will be served in an hour. They are invited to join on the veranda if they wish.”

“Oh,” Bodhi says, ignoring the disapproving glance the maid gives his unprofessional state of dress. “Of course, thank you.”

She bows out and Bodhi shuts the door behind him with a click, leaning back against it. Cassian and Jyn are still curled together in bed but Cassian is awake now, his chin hitched over Jyn’s shoulder as he meets Bodhi’s eyes.

“Morning,” Bodhi says, knowing he should hurry and get dressed but caught transfixed at the soft sight of them together, something he so rarely gets a chance at.

“Breakfast, is it?” Cassian asks.

“Yes. Soon, with your gracious hosts, of course. Good luck waking her for it.” 

“She’s already awake,” Jyn murmurs against the pillow, burrowing into it. “A few more minutes won’t hurt.”

Cassian huffs a laugh, pressing a kiss to Jyn’s shoulder, a gesture that feels too intimate for Bodhi to witness. If there were any qualms about them showing affection back on base they have vanished entirely here, in the privacy their cover story had earned them. It’s the kind of gentle life and accommodations they deserve to have always, not just at the cost of danger. 

Cassian nudges Jyn easily as he disentangles himself from the blankets, earning him a sound of protest and a muttered curse he doesn’t answer, climbing out of the bed and stretching. Bodhi averts his eyes a moment too late, trying with little success not to stare at the curves of Cassian’s shoulder blades.

“Come on _darling_ , we don’t want to keep our hosts waiting,” Cassian says, ducking in to poke at Jyn’s side until she reveals her face to glare at him. 

“Take Bodhi instead,” Jyn glowers. 

Cassian chuckles, unperturbed. “Draven shot that option down, remember?” 

Jyn grumbles, finally giving in to Cassian’s insistent prodding. Bodhi flushes at the fact that the idea was even _discussed_ because it’s the first time he’s heard of it. 

“I’ll just...get ready too,” Bodhi murmurs, grabbing his uniform and ducking into the bathroom. He changes quickly, sorting his uniform into something presentable. By the time he comes out, the other wo are blessedly dressed, Cassian just zipping up the back of Jyn’s light blue sundress. Cassian is dressed just as stylishly, in a pair of pressed tan pants and a white shirt. They look like the perfect couple, just as they should, the effect only amplified by the quick kiss Cassian presses to Jyn’s lips.

Bodhi looks away, clearing his throat.

“So, am I just going to shadow you for the day?” Bodhi asks after a beat.

“It’s not necessary,” Cassian says. “The time would be better spent getting the lay of the security for yourself. Though I doubt-” 

“I _doubt_ anyone will ask after you,” Jyn says, cutting off whatever else Cassian had to say on the matter. “Just take your time. Be careful.”

Bodhi nods and Cassian seems to give in, not keen to raise the argument with Jyn again. Instead, he beckons Bodhi to his side, pressing a series of codes into his datapad to reveal a map of the mansion. He points out the path Bodhi should take to keep hidden on his way down to Serasai’s office. It’s quite the ways from the guest quarters, far enough that Bodhi tenses, hoping he has the nerve and subtlety to get there without getting caught. This sort of work is the last thing he enjoys but still, he knows he has to try. Anything that might help keep Cassian and Jyn safe, even if only in some small way, was worth the risk.

“The kitchen isn’t far from there at least. I have faith you could talk your way out of anything,” Cassian adds, clearly able to read Bodhi’s nerves.

“I’ve had enough practice at that, at least. Hard to avoid with you two,” Bodhi says, shaking his head. Jyn smirks.

“See? That’s the spirit. That’s why you’re perfect for this.”

She looks at him like she really means it, even though there are a thousand better people Bodhi can think of for the job. Herself for one. Still, the compliment warms him, makes him flush in embarrassment as he fights back a smile. 

“Yeah, well...flattery won’t get you downstairs where you’re meant to be any quicker,” Bodhi reminds her. Jyn rolls her eyes, taking another step towards him and wrapping him in a hug. Her touch still always managed to come as a surprise, after years of slow eroding rough edges, the way she seemed to finally let herself take comfort when she needed it, to give it just as well. Bodhi gives into the urge to hold her, just for a moment.

“Meet up with us on the terrace after a bit,” she says against his shoulder. “Okay?”

Bodhi nods, holding back a sigh as she pulls away. 

He watches them both go and tries not to feel overwhelmed on his own. He waits just enough time after they’re gone to get going. Pressing an ear against the door, he listens for footsteps carefully until he’s certain enough that it’s clear. He sets out into the hall and walks at an even pace towards the narrow servant’s stairs that lead to the first floor. Once on the ground level, he finds the kitchen, just as Cassian had said. His stomach grumbles at the scent of food that is undoubtedly not meant for him.

To keep his cover up, and hopefully find some sustenance, he ducks into the room.

He’s relieved to find there isn’t much of a staff inside, only a scullery maid who looks miserable washing pans and a cook too busy rushing about to get things done to pay him any mind. There’s bits of bread and fruit for the servants to eat, all half overripe and in no way appealing. He swipes a few bites just to keep his energy, even if it’s nowhere near filling enough for a full meal. He figures he’ll just have to eat some of the ration packs stored in the room later on. One thing he’s really looking forward to when all this is done is a full meal, even if it does consist of the usual mess hall fair.

After he’s eaten he slips away back into the hall and walks at an easy pace, trying to not make it too obvious that he’s trying to memorize everything he passes. He has to flatten himself into unused rooms a few times on his way to avoid conversation and questioning, each time making his heartbeat quicken. He eventually makes his way down to the private study and can see the door to Serasai’s office through it, a sliding door installed that hardly matches the architecture around it, with a security keypad set into the wall. From the looks of it, Cassian hadn’t been overreacting before, the entire study canvassed by a camera in the corner.

He only allows himself the brief glimpse, not daring to get too close for fear of looking out of place on the feeds. He counts the seconds in his mind, trying to memorize the make of the lock, the mark for Arakyd Industries just large enough to make out. It was the same company who had produced Kaytoo, a sign of high quality and complication.

When Bodhi knows he’s been staring too long, he retreats. Keeping Cassian’s map in mind he takes a sharp right down the hall, exiting through an arched doorway to cut through the garden. The surrounding lush landscape is an even more impressive sight from the ground, the house set along a vast and shimmering lake. Bodhi marvels at it quietly, careful to keep alert, wishing people more deserving than the Serasai’s had a chance to see it all.

Bodhi makes his way to the veranda where Madame Serasai is busy regaling his friends with another tale of her opulent travels. When Jyn spots him she’s quick to react in character, shooting him a disparaging look.

“You’ve taken long enough to come down, what if I had need of you?”

The frustration in her tone is more than convincing, nearly making him flinch. He suspects she’s channeling her feelings against their hosts into the act. 

“I’m sorry, Lady Drayton, it won’t happen again,” Bodhi answers dutifully to her scornful glare. She scoffs and waves him off, as if shooing away an insect. He stands against the wall, crossing his hands behind him formally, to await her next order. Looking at all the food laid out is its own kind of torture, especially when half of it is left untouched by the end of the meal. 

“I’ve had the greatest idea, my sweet,” Serasai says to his wife. “Why don’t we all go out to the falls together?”

“Oh it is splendid weather, it’d be a lovely stroll, if our guests have an interest.”

“Of course,” Cassian agrees with his ever charming grin. “I’ve read much about the beautiful landscapes of Naboo. It would an honor to explore them with you.” He’s looking at Serasai directly when he says it, a fond glint in their host’s eyes that makes Bodhi feel uneasy. Bodhi shakes it off, focusing instead on Jyn while she scolds him again for not thinking to bring her parasol down with him from the room. 

He apologizes, holding back a laugh at how ridiculous the request sounds coming from her.

They depart for the adventure and Bodhi feels overdressed the entire time, the high necked collar of his uniform like a vice in the humid air. He walks a few feet behind the couples, watching as Serasai points out different landmarks with pride as if he’d created them himself. His ownership over the land is entirely obnoxious and it’s hard to watch Cassian and Jyn play into it, praising him for coming so far in the Empire to be rewarded with the home. 

It feels like ages before they finally reach the falls, the trees fewer and far between revealing the expanse of them. Even at a distance he can hear the rush of the water. In any other circumstance he would sigh in wonder at the sight. As it is, he takes it in with a deep breath and a small foolish hope that one day, when the Empire has fallen, they might get a chance to come back here together. All of them.

There are fields of flowers stretching around the wide field, white barked trees and small, soft looking birds that soar overhead. Even through the act, the shyly awed look on Jyn’s face is a sight he can’t break away from. He listens as Cassian and Jyn fawn at the sight, the Serasai’s smug looks, for having impressed them so well, putting a damper on Bodhi’s mood.

When Serasai beckons Cassian away from the group, Bodhi can’t help but go tense, trying not to let it show. He tries to focus on Cassian instead, the way his easy expression brooks nothing but relaxation. Bodhi envies his fine honed calm reception, the way he looks at Serasai -- as if he really _cares_ for the man. 

“I must show you wear the rondats nest so you have an edge in the hunt. You will stay come of course, the morning of the gala?”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Do lead on,” Cassian chimes with false enthusiasm, following Serasai’s lead down the path and away. Bodhi hates when any of them are split up this way on missions, even for something so supposedly safe.

Bodhi has no choice though, sticking by Jyn’s side in compromise. Listening to the vapid conversation between her and Maris, he starts to feel like he might fall asleep where he's standing. It becomes clear after a few minutes that looking at the doomed rondats’ nest is going to take Cassian and their host longer than Bodhi anticipated, leaving him little relief in sight. 

"Oh you must come to Canto Bight some time! The fathier races are thrilling!" Maris exclaims to Jyn.

“We used to keep Fathiers at our summer home,” Jyn says excitedly, making up story after story of her illustrious family and childhood. She’s keeping up the act well, seeming sincere to Maris at least, but Bodhi can tell it’s wearing on her. 

He catches her gaze a few times and swears he can hear her cries for help. There’s nothing to be done for it, sadly, and without Cassian and her husband as a buffer, Maris is relentless. It’s when she’s been talking about the wallpaper she had restored in the guest room that Jyn finally decides she’s had enough. She doesn’t cause a scene, of course, but she does falter in her steps, letting out a soft groan. Bodhi reaches out for her on instinct although he’s certain it’s a ruse.

“Are you alright?” Maris asks sounding overly concerned. Jyn twists her face into something like regret, using Bodhi to appear like she’s steadying herself, before she shrugs him off.

"Oh, it must be the heat,” She huffs a tired breath. “I'm sorry for being such a delicate thing. I hate to be so rude but… I may have to go lie down," Jyn says apologetically, shielding her eyes from the sun as if pained. (A bit over dramatically if Bodhi's being honest.) "You poor dear! Of course I understand, I'll have Maison check in with you in a bit. I do hope you don’t mind if I don’t accompany you back just yet, I’m certain your husband and Alex will be back any time now." Jyn doesn't have to fake the gratitude in her eyes.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t have it another way. Sahar here should be more than enough help,” she says smoothly, turning to him with authority. “You hear that? I won't have you lazing in the sun just because I'm ill."

Bodhi fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Of course not.”

He pauses, unsure if he’s meant to lead the way or what, glad when Jyn treads ahead of him with a quiet huff at the effort, playing up her weakness while they’re still in Maris’ sight. He draws close to her again, offering his arm for her to take, making her seem the perfect picture of fragility as she clings.

It’s a few minutes trudging across the field and down the path they’d come from, when it’s finally safe to speak.

“Not enjoying the fresh air?” Bodhi teases, letting go of Jyn somewhat reluctantly.

“God, you heard her,” Jyn grimaces.

“Unfortunately, yes. Just for my peace of mind, was heading back without Cassian part of the plan?”

“In a way,” Jyn’s mouth draws into a tight line. “Not _my_ plan but...” she trails off, clearly frustrated by more than just the heat.

“Above my clearance?” He hazards, trying not to let the idea sting.

She sighs, her steps faltering as she faces Bodhi with a serious look. “It’s not that.”

“It’s something though,” Bodhi continues. “The argument last night, wasn’t nothing was it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you worried like that on a mission before. If Serasai is too dangerous-”

Bodhi’s chest tightens at the thought. If he _is,_ then Bodhi should be back with Cassian. Not here, uselessly trying to parse through Jyn’s tells. He had hoped they both trusted him more than this, enough not to shield him from something important.

“It’s not that,” she says, cutting Bodhi off. They’ve reached close enough to the house that it’s getting risky to talk so freely. “I’m not worried about him.” Bodhi shoots her an unconvinced look and she sighs, continuing. “Not the way you think, at least.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t just _tell me_ ,” Bodhi says, half to himself, his anxiety winning out over tact.

She hesitates, worrying her lip, looking at least half as tormented as he feels. “Kriff it, I-” Just at that moment, a servant comes into sight, headed down the path in their direction. Jyn pauses, waiting for them to pass, looking tense and tired. “It can wait until we get upstairs, c’mon.”

“Alright,” he says, swallowing hard, not quite ready for it when she grasps his hand, squeezing it gently. She keeps the hold, using him as a support for the sake of her fragile demure act, but still it feels reassuring. She clings to Bodhi’s arm and he feels guilty for savoring the contact, letting her touch ground him as he tries to prepare himself for whatever secret she and Cassian have been keeping. 

They head into the mansion and up to the guest room, with her complaining to him loudly about her imaginary frailties whenever anyone passes. In a brief moment of levity he wonders if carrying her would be more convincing. Ultimately, he decides it’s not worth the risk of having her break cover to scold him if he tried it. 

By the time they reach the room he’s just glad for the silence again. Jyn lets go of him with a deep breathe, as if she’s savoring the same. If Cassian had come back with him there would be little to worry about, for a while at least. As it stands his stomach aches at the unknown, wondering what could be so terrible that Cassian couldn’t just tell him upfront.

“Get that off,” she says, gesturing to Bodhi’s uncomfortable uniform. “Or at least unbutton it.”

Reaching for the tight buttons at his neck, he realizes he’s hardly thought of his own discomfort, not since Cassian went off with Serasai. He undoes the whole front and Jyn comes close, pushing it off his shoulders, letting it fall off of him to the ground. It would be an intimate gesture if frustration wasn’t so clear in the lines of her face. It leaves him in only an undershirt, exposed and not caring. Everything overridden by his looming concerns.

“Jyn,” Bodhi starts and she holds a hand up, stalling him as she gives the room a cursory sweep for bugs. He doesn’t need to be asked to help, looking under lamps and both side table drawers until she’s appeased.

“Okay,” she breathes. “Sit down. You’re not going to like this.”

Bodhi does as she tells him, settling just at the edge of the bed despite how restless the warning makes him feel, surprised when she comes to join him, sitting close at his side. Her body seems coiled and tense, ready to pace at a pin drop. 

“What is it, Jyn?” Bodhi asks, mustering all the patience he can. “What’s making you doubt Cassian on this one? If it’s not about Serasai-”

“It is, and about Cassian the goddamn martyr.” She frowns, looking down and away as the resentment in her tone grows sharp. “He has it in his damn head that slicing into the security isn’t going to work. He thinks the best way to get the intel is to sleep with the bastard.”

Bodhi’s stomach sinks as he processes the words, feeling sick at the realization of what all Serasai’s intent looks had meant before. The fact that Cassian was encouraging them, throwing himself down at the man’s mercy, his _desire_ , all for the sake of some intel.

“You can’t be serious,” Bodhi starts, the tension from the night before suddenly making perfect sense. “There has to be a better way. How could he agree to this? How could _you_?”

A beat too late, he wonders if it’s a callous question, knowing she has more right to feel torn up about this than him. Considering what she and Cassian are to each other it feels cruel that the Alliance sent her along at all, if in some way this was always their plan.

“I still don’t agree with it, and Cassian knows it.” 

“I can’t believe Draven asked him to-”

“The real slap in the face is, it wasn’t Draven’s idea. _Cassian_ brought it up, at the last goddamn briefing before we shipped out. He insists it’s safer.”

That sounds exactly like the Cassian he knows, self sacrificing to a fault, unaware of just how much that might affect the people who care about him.

“That’s terrible Jyn, that he...I _can_ slice into the office! If he can just give me a chance,” Bodhi insists, no matter how overwhelming the task had seemed, it was worth the work if it could save Cassian from being used. “I can stop this.”

“I tried to tell him that. Between you and I we’re not exactly amateurs _._ He insists though, stuck on the idea that there’s less of a trail this way. Less danger of our covers being blown. Ever since Serasai told us there would be troopers at the gala, there’s been no reasoning with him.”

This mission wasn’t supposed to be this hard, especially not on his heart. Bodhi knows Cassian is strong, that he can bear almost anything if he has to. But Cassian _shouldn’t_ have to. He realizes this must be how Jyn’s felt this whole time, why she’d come so close to a full out argument with Cassian the night before.

“He’s done it before you know,” she bites out. “That was his argument, as if it makes things any better.”

“I can’t even imagine what this must be like for you. With the way things are…” 

He stops just short of spelling it out, still unsure just what Jyn and Cassian define their relationship as. He doesn’t want to hurt her more now by assuming.

“I _wish_ it were just jealousy,” Jyn says, grimacing. “I hate this and I hate that _he_ wouldn’t just tell you. I hate that I can understand where he’s coming from too, wanting to protect us.”

He speaks carefully, “You’ve never done something like...” he trails off, realizing how little he knows about Jyn’s time with Saw, the things she might have done to survive. He wouldn’t judge her, and wonders if it comes off that way now when all he feels for Cassian is afraid.

“Never. But...for Cassian. For you,” she pauses. “I might.”

To know she cares that much for him feels like a balm and a blow all at once, hating that they even have to consider it. Still, he doesn’t have to think hard to know his answer is the same. There isn’t much he wouldn’t do for his friends. Cassian putting himself out there for this intel though, with someone so terrible, feels different. For reasons that are probably more selfish than pragmatic.

“I’d hate it just as much if it were you,” Bodhi says, at a loss for anything else. No matter how many people the information they get might go on to help, it would never be worth enough to him.

“I know.”

There was nothing left to be said, not until Cassian came back. Even then, would telling him he knew just cause more problems? 

“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Bodhi asks. “If it’s part of the mission, Jyn,” He shakes his head, the thought settling like a blow. “I should have known.”

“He made me promise not to you and he can shove it. I wasn’t going to let you think he was out getting murdered.”

“If his mind is so set, what difference would it have made?” he asks softly. 

“He said you could have convinced him out of it, or that both of us could have. Guess me yelling at him was more bearable than your sad eyes.” She’s trying to joke, to make light of it, but Bodhi can’t let go just yet.

“Oh, I still have some words of my own for him,” Bodhi says seriously. “Even if I can’t change his mind on this one...he has to know that he’s not-” a tool, not some means to an end. 

He’s important to Bodhi, worth too much, deserving of a better life if this war would ever end.

“If anyone can make him listen, it’s you.”

The words are warm, the anger fading from her in slow breathes, like just having it out in the air had helped. It’s another thing that frustrates Bodhi to no end, that Cassian would lay so much on Jyn’s shoulder. Then again, the alternative was him not cluing any of them in, he supposes.

“How long do you think before he’s back?” Bodhi asks, not willing to think on what methods might factor into Cassian’s work. At least they were still out with Serasai’s wife, hopefully enough to keep things from getting… more involved, for the time being.

“He said he’d beg off after an hour or so. He’s at least _trying_ to keep it at flirting, if that makes any difference.” The weight in Bodhi’s chest doesn’t lessen, knowing that Cassian rarely does things in halves. Still, he can’t keep dwelling on that. Can’t hurt Jyn or explain his pain in any way that wouldn’t make his own feelings too obvious. 

“Even I’ve flirted for missions,” Bodhi says, trying for levity. “Guess it’d be a bit hypocritical to fault him for that much.”

“Doesn’t stop us both from wanting to throttle him though, does it?” Jyn says, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you mean to do with the hour but I’m going to take a nap.”

“Well, it is part of your cover, being so ill and all,” Bodhi says, with a slight smirk, trying to shake off the heaviness. “You should rest.”

He moves to stand, but before he can, Jyn reaches out to grasp his hand. “You too, okay? I know this isn’t what either of us were hoping for on this mission.”

 

If it were anyone else he would argue that he’s not delicate. He knows she understands that though, that she’s always understood. She never looked at him with pity and he’d never feared her. When no one else had trusted either of them they’d had each other’s back, building a friendship from the ashes her father left behind. 

“Save my energy up to argue with Cassian later?” he tries, earning him a smile.

“Something like that.”

She lets go of his hand, scooching over on the bed. Blatantly leaving a space for him that he can’t possibly take. Not when she still doesn’t know the half of what he feels.

He’s too tired to trust himself not to take too much.

“I’ll be on the couch,” he says out loud, as if to convince himself, willing to take the disappointment in her eyes if it means keeping his secret. He eyes the couch in question with no small amount of trepidation, stretching and hearing his back crunch before he’s even settled in. “Or...on second thought, the floor seems nice.”

“Or you could just sleep up here with me,” Jyn says, finally voicing her disapproval.

“I won’t risk our covers for a nap, Jyn. What if someone walked in?”

“Well, my husband _is_ having an affair of his own…” She waggles her eyebrows and he nearly chokes, recovering by rolling his eyes. He doesn’t dignify the answer with a response, snatching a pillow from the bed and throwing it down by the side of the bed. The one closest to Jyn. 

Just to be safe.

He settles into the space, lying on his back and listening as Jyn shifts up above on the mattress. He shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath, startling when he feels fingers brush his arm. Jyn’s hand, slung down over the side of the mattress, reaching for him. It’s a small comfort, one he can afford to give in to, taking her hand in his own and curling it against his chest. 

“If you change your mind…” she trails off.

“I know,” Bodhi answers, wishing he could be brave enough to tell her just how much it means to have her close. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guest chapter by ANTchan, so glad I tricked her into it! :D

Another few days pass and there’s never enough time or privacy to talk to Cassian about his plans with Serasai, not enough for Bodhi to get out everything he needs to say. (Not that he even _knows_ what to say.) Cassian and Jyn have stopped arguing about it - at least in front of him - and Bodhi slowly resigns himself to the fact that Cassian’s mind is set, and that it might be better not to give him any more cause for grief. Not until it’s done, anyway. 

He tries not to think about what Cassian might do by then. What he, mistakenly, might feel obligated to do. 

They part ways mid afternoon after a morning cruiser ride through the lake district. Upon returning to the manor, Serasai beckons Cassian away to the library under the pretense of a glass of brandy and a cigarra. But the glint in his eye makes Bodhi’s skin crawl, and now it’s something Bodhi can put a name to a thousand times over. And seeing Cassian only smile that smooth, meaningful (fake) smile at Serasai as he agrees only makes the roiling _dread_ worse. 

At Maris Serasai’s behest, she and Jyn retire to the balcony at the back of the manor for luncheon, ensconced in luxury. The fine chaise lounges overlook a breathtaking view of the countryside, surrounded by fine linens and greenery. Bodhi takes Jyn’s proferred hand, providing balance as she lowers herself into the chaise. He dutifully arranges the folds of her dress before taking up his position at Jyn’s side, doing his best to look somehow both attentive and uninterested in the proceedings.

There’s a familiar face beside the other lounge: the judgmental young maid who had woken them their first morning has taken up beside Madame Serasai. Each of them is given a tray to hold while their mistresses carry on their conversation, which are periodically filled with incomprehensibly fancy little treats. Some things Bodhi can almost recognize - bread morsels spread with brightly colored pastes and cheeses, fruits cut into blossom shapes, actual candied flowers. And other things Bodhi could not even begin to wonder. 

He’s pretty sure that tentacle is still wriggling…

Bodhi tears his eyes away before he keeps thinking about it. His entire purpose in the room is to hand his mistress one of the little snacks or a glass of sweet wine whenever Jyn so much as beckons for one. Other than that, he’s largely meant to be invisible amongst the backdrop of Maris Serasai and Viscountess Drayton’s perfectly extravagant meal. 

The two of them chat idly for a while about this subject or that. About what Cara Drayton thinks about Naboo, and what a dull little planet Bellassa is. Jyn somehow manages to be both uninterested and engaging all at once, following Maris’ increasingly vapid trail of conversation with an endurance that is downright impressive. The only tell is the barest twitch in her fingers, and Bodhi delightedly considers just how many ways Jyn is picturing strangling the lady of the house.

Bodhi, meanwhile, is having enough of a time not hesitating over which of these silly miniature snacks to hand Jyn next. He can only hand her what he thinks is the least dangerous of the bunch and hope it’s nothing too disgusting. 

(She only hides a wince once, when Bodhi hands her something topped with a bright orange spread that he thought should have been sweet. By the barest hesitation in her eating it… it’s not.) 

It takes no less than fifteen minutes for the conversation to turn to idle gossip about those who will be in attendance at the gala. Madame Serasai seems all too happy to discuss Earl Harmach’s embarrassing health issues or the dreadful scandal of Miss Padran’s most recent love affair, on and on, through names of carvanium tycoons and Imperial admirals and a few names Bodhi knows are connected with the spice trade. 

To him, the names are a blur, a fuzzy memory from the guest list they had procured for the mission, but Jyn follows them with frightening ease. It makes Bodhi wonder how deep her research beforehand went, and what she already has plans to use. It’s frightening to a point that it’s strangely bewitching.

“It’s a common enough game,” Maris titters over the rim of her wine glass. “Dalliances. Perfectly natural to be swayed by the occasional pair of soulful eyes and a devilish mouth. A playwright or poet, one of the guard, a servant…” Her eyes flicker to Bodhi so quickly that he’s almost sure he’s imagined it. But it pales in comparison to her next words. “Or someone’s husband, perhaps?”

Either Jyn or himself goes very still. Bodhi is too busy trying to hide his own panic to tell which. “I’m not sure I take your meaning,” Jyn says deliberately.

“Come now, don’t be coy. Surely you’ve noticed by now. Neither of our husbands have been particularly subtle.” Maris props her chin on her hand, her smile too casual. “Don’t tell me you thought they were actually going off together to conduct _business_?”

 _Shit_ \- did Cassian’s plan backfire on them? There’s a quiet rattling of the tray as Bodhi’s hand shakes, but to his ears it may as well be deafening. His mind whirls into action, ready bolt, or fight, or to toss the damn tray across the room in an attempt to cover their escape if he has to. But he follows Jyn’s lead. She’s the Intelligence agent in the room, and there’s the briefest flash in her eye, the same one she gets right before she springs into battle.

Jyn must see something that Bodhi doesn’t, because she doesn’t fly into action. Instead she gathers herself primly. “Jonas and I don’t keep secrets. At least, not of this kind.”

Both women share an appraising look, one that is neither threatening nor entirely friendly. Bodhi… isn’t sure what’s happening.

“Ah, this happens often, then?” Madame Serasai hums thoughtfully. “Well, that should be expected. Those Outer Rim types… they are so _passionate_ and wild. Almost uncontrollable.”

“So they say.” Jyn’s voice is perfectly steady. Her hands don’t clench. But what appears tranquil to anyone else in this room is only the poise before the strike to Bodhi. If Maris Serasai were a Stormtrooper she would be a mangled heap of armor and bones, and honestly, Bodhi would only feel the slightest regret about it at the moment.

“Are you not afraid he will fly into a jealous rage when he finds out about your own… dalliances?” Maris sips at her wine with thinly veiled innocence. Her eyes settle fully on Bodhi this time, and he stands a little straighter. “He is pretty, I’ll give you that. And convenient keeping him around as you do. But is that really wise?”

Bodhi replays the conversation back in his head, coming to the disturbing realization that Maris Serasai is, in fact, talking about him and not someone else who has appeared on the balcony. 

Had he missed something?

“I seem to have struck a nerve,” Maris coos, gesturing at him. “You might not be afraid, but your help is. Perhaps you should be more careful, hm?”

Jyn observes the woman across from her, for the first time blatantly calculating. Each second it takes for her to respond is a new kind of agony for Bodhi. “As I said, we do not keep secrets of that kind from each other,” she sniffs delicately. “There’s no need for us to worry.” And _that_ is not what Bodhi expected to hear either, and it certainly isn’t part of the plan.

_Jyn, what are you doing?_

“Is that so? How… nice.”

Jyn hums in agreement, almost smug as she sips her own wine. Why is she playing along with this? Why isn’t she just denying it?

Mortified, Bodhi can do nothing but watch as the scene unfolds. His role doesn’t allow for anything else.

“It doesn’t bother him?” Maris wonders, not even trying to sound genuine in her concern. “That you’re being indiscrete with your _servant_?”

“Bother him? This is a secret we _share._ ” The proclamation drops to the lady of the house’s scandalized laugh. The maid, impassive until now, actually glances in Bodhi’s direction.

Bodhi would much rather like to sink into the floor. _No, Jyn…_ he thinks in silent horror.

“You are...?” Maris Serasai continues in delicate tones. “I admit, I wondered. There’s been gossip around the house about the two of you keeping him in your room, instead of giving him a room in the servant’s quarters.”

“Oh, that. Yes, we like to keep him… close.” Jyn tips her head, her gaze sliding over to him with a lascivious sparkle in them. Her smile, or rather _Cara Drayton’s smile_ , is just a little bit cruel as she regards him. “He’s passable as a manservant, but just pretty enough to keep around. Don’t you think?”

He’s fixed with not even two, but _three_ appraising stares, including the maid who looks him over in barely hidden disgust. He studiously avoids it, and especially avoids looking at Maris Serasai, whose objectifying gaze makes his skin prickle.

He tries to keep his face blank, and meets Jyn’s eyes instead.

 _Trust me,_ her eyes say. As if Bodhi could honestly deny her.

“I suppose so, yes,” Maris relents, “to the right taste he would be.”

Jyn turns back, her expression flickering back into that sharp, aloof smile. “There’s really no denying that whatever he lacks is made up for behind closed doors. It’s not so difficult to keep him around when he is so eager to _please_.”

The other woman, despite her supposed disinterest, leans forward. “Indeed?”

“We would keep him simply for the noises he makes when we play with him, if nothing else. _Responsive_ , you know. It’s getting him to be quiet that’s the challenge.” Jyn chuckles lowly, a sound that _does things_ to him that he would rather not think about at this moment. Or in this setting. Especially not when she’s saying things like _that._ “It’s entertaining enough to play with him on my own, but watching Jonas take his time with him is always _fun_ as well. As is when we decide to put Sahar to good use together.”

Bodhi’s face is burning hot, and he finds no way to hide it. It must make a more convincing picture in the end anyway, because Serasai turns contemplative eyes on him. And despite her disdain there’s also a spark behind it that makes Bodhi’s skin crawl. It’s lust in the plainest form, but something detached and objectifying. 

“I’d stop that, if I were you.” Jyn’s voice makes Bodhi jump. There’s no hiding the way the tray rattles in his hands this time. The edge in her formal words is not that of Cara Drayton, but of Jyn Erso. It’s only a step down from the voice she uses when facing down a patrol of Stormtroopers. Her smile is sharp as steel. “We’re possessive with what is ours. Passionate and wild. You know, almost _uncontrollable._ ”

Her quiet threats drops the temperature on the balcony by several degrees. Jyn sits composed in the silence, in control of the room and Bodhi is damned if he doesn’t find it attractive. 

He must do a poor job at hiding his reaction, because Jyn flashes him a quick grin before declaring, “Well, I think that’s enough for today. All this talk has me craving other things.” She holds a hand up, and it takes Bodhi a second too long to remember his role. Or to realize _he_ is what she’s referring to. He quickly sets the tray aside and takes her hand, his fingers jolting at the touch of her palm against his. 

Jyn stands from the chaise, all but ignoring her host as she straightens the folds of her dress. “I’m sure we’ll see each other at dinner,” is all she says in parting, turning on heel and striding from the balcony. She beckons Bodhi to follow after her with a flick of her wrist, and the two of them leaving Maris Serasai gaping after them.

They pass quickly back into the house and down the nearest hall, Bodhi following a practiced three paces behind Jyn. Even out of view, he still feels like there’s eyes burning into his back and it keeps him from speaking outright. He’s not exactly sure what he even wants to ask, anyway. Or where to even begin.

Jyn’s stride is confident through the house, so much so that it takes Bodhi a few minutes to realize that they’re not walking in the direction of their room. “Um…”

“Quiet,” Jyn snaps, casting him a look over her shoulder. The gleam in her eyes sends Bodhi’s heart flipping in his chest. Her voice lowers with intent. “I have need of you.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am.”

He follows her in anxious silence, growing only more concerned when he realizes they’re heading towards Serasai’s study. It should be empty, at least, if Cassian is distracting their host in the library right now. But that’s a cold comfort, and Bodhi’s heart pounds with every step closer they take. 

He’s so focused on their apparent destination that Jyn grabbing ahold of his sleeve takes him by complete surprise. Bodhi barely has time to gasp before he’s being shoved out of the hall, and into an alcove nearby. It’s a service passage, artfully hidden by a curtain that probably costs more than anything amount of Bodhi has ever made in his life.

The enclosed space breaks the spell. The moment Bodhi’s back presses against the wall, he sputters, “Jyn, _what--_ ”

“We’ve got maybe three minutes before she sends that maid up after us,” Jyn interrupts. Her eyes sparkle devilishly in the gloom. She knows perfectly well that she hasn’t even tried to answer his question, which only frustrates him further.

“She… what? She’s going to what?”

“She’s a voyeur and a gossip and she’ll want to know we’re being scandalous in her own mansion.” Jyn scoffs, her hands going to her skirt. Bodhi’s protest die in his throat as she lifts it up, revealing the slim, powerful line of her leg and the thigh holster underneath. His mind goes alarmingly blank as he watches her tug a small slicer pad from it. “And for all that talk about her exploits, I doubt she’s actually getting any. Or anything _good_.”

“So you let her think we were sleeping together?” Bodhi hisses back. “That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“You heard her; most of the house already thinks we are. Less trouble for us. Easier to explain why you sleep in our room.” Jyn throws him a conspiratory smile. Bodhi has several arguments for that, but none of them will form into coherent words at the moment. “Keep a lookout for me, this shouldn’t take long.” Jyn’s clever fingers find the seam of a service panel, wrenching it open to reveal the house’s inner workings - like a clever hunter skinning its prey. Bodhi watches her slice into the wiring for a moment longer before taking position up near the front of the alcove. 

“What are you doing?” he asks with quiet urgency.

“If Serasai’s security is really that good, we’ll need to know more.” In the light of the tiny screen, Jyn’s face twists into a frown. “If we’re going to convince Cassian to do things our way, we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

Bodhi pulls his arms closer to himself, wondering not for the first time why they need him on this mission at all when Jyn is just as competent. “Maybe you should be the one to slice into his files.”

Jyn shakes her head. “It’ll be too conspicuous if I slip away from the gala. You’ll be able to get in and out a lot easier than either of us will.” She glances up at him. “And you can do this.”

“I know, if I had the time I could. But with cameras and troopers patrolling the gala? Is it really our best chance?”

Bodhi hated doubting her plan, hated anything that meant Cassian might be right when it came to sacrificing himself. He had to be pragmatic though, knowing that on the night of there would be no room for error.

“Well, what if we could eliminate one of those? This should give us schematics to the security office, and if you can just slip in-” here she plugs something into the interface, which causes it to flash in rapidly cycling figures, “-there’s no reason to think you couldn’t disable the cameras, set a static image and buy yourself all the time you need.”

Bodhi opens his mouth, about to tell Jyn just how convoluted and unlikely the plan is, one doesn’t simply charm their way into a security room, after all. Especially not someone like _Bodhi._ A quiet footstep down the hall halts the words, sending every one of Bodhi’s nerves into high alert. “Jyn,” he warns quietly.

“Shit, that was fast.”

Bodhi steps further into the alcove, in a vain attempt to somehow block Jyn from view. “ _Jyn._ ”

“I’ve got it, hold on…” She abruptly shoves the datapad into his hands with a quick instruction to hold onto it. Only just barely stopping himself from dropping it, Bodhi doesn’t have time to process what’s going on before Jyn is clutching at his neatly pressed uniform jacket. Her hands tug at him, pulling his jacket crooked, popping buttons around his collar open. And then they fly up into his hair, chills running down his spine as she digs her fingers against his scalp, loosening his ponytail. There’s no time to ask what she’s doing, or to even feel guilty about the heat the creeps into his chest at the feel of her hands on him.

She starts on herself next, mussing up her own hair from its neat braid, and shoving her dress off one shoulder. Bodhi’s heart leaps into his throat.

“Oh, uh,” he mumbles in sudden understanding. “Do you need help?”

She regards him with narrowed eyes, and Bodhi fights not to squirm. They’re actually doing this - playing along with this ruse. “Hey,” she starts carefully, too carefully for the footsteps slowly inching up the hall towards him. “I need to smear my lipstick, okay?”

“O-Okay--!” He cuts off with a muffled sound as Jyn grabs hold of his lapel and tugs him down in a hard kiss. His thoughts scatter in a thousand directions, only able to focus on her soft mouth moving against his and the press of her against his chest. He’s only dimly aware of the slicer being plucked out of his hand, a sound halfway between a question and a whimper leaving his mouth as Jyn’s lips part against his. He leans into it without thought, without anything but the thrill of it, and it’s not until he feels the shiver run through her that Bodhi remembers that _this cannot happen._ That _this_ is wrong and Jyn’s heart and her kisses don’t even remotely belong to him.

He pulls away so quickly that he stumbles, hits the wall behind him, and drops unceremoniously to the floor.

And that’s when the maid steps around the curtain.

Somehow the rapid pounding of his own heart in his ears only makes the silence worse. He stares up at the maid from his spot on the floor, half kneeling, his face no doubt glowing red in the shadow of the servant’s passage. Bodhi’s all too aware now of the state Jyn has put his clothes in, her own clothes in, and the bright red smear of her lipstick at the corner of her mouth. And probably his now, too.

The fact that Jyn has one side of her skirt held up, just finishing slipping the slicer back into her holster, does not help.

He isn’t the only one blushing and thoroughly mortified, however. The maid yelps softly, nearly jumping back out of the alcove. “M-My apologies, Lady Drayton!”

Jyn snarls, and somehow manages to make her voice go husky and rough with need. “Do you _mind?_ ” And Bodhi nearly laughs at how affronted she sounds, until Jyn’s fingers comb through his hopelessly mussed hair. For a moment he forgets to breathe.

The maid continues to sputter and apologize, but doesn’t back away. Every second she stays, the more likely she is to notice the still open access panel that Jyn is covering with her body. It’s Bodhi who makes the final move, ducking his head closer to Jyn so his face is half hidden in the fabric of her skirt. Jyn picks up the movement quickly, shifting her stance so that Bodhi kneels with his face nuzzled against her thigh. His hand toys with the hem of her skirt, a bold insinuation of dipping beneath it that - once this is over - Bodhi knows he will regret.

The maid goes an even darker shade of red, if possible, and flees without even another scathing order from Jyn. They listen to her quick steps back down the hall, almost not daring to breathe until they fade away altogether.

“Nice move,” Jyn laughs softly once they’re alone again, her voice hitched.

Bodhi can’t bring himself to speak just yet, nodding as he climbs to his feet.

Jyn closes the panel and shifts her clothes back into place. “Let’s head back. I think we got what we need.”

\----------------

They return to their room, and meet no one else in the halls. Bodhi wipes the lipstick from his mouth and puts his clothes back in order, but still he jumps at the slightest sound on their walk back, sure that he’s going to turn and see someone watching them every time.

When they’re finally behind closed doors again, and have rechecked the room for bugs, Jyn breaks the heavy silence by turning to him with a concerned expression. (Bodhi tries not to think about her frowning lips anymore than necessary. It doesn’t work.) “We okay?” she questions after a moment.

Bodhi opens his mouth to answer; falters between “yeah” and “of course” and “did that really just happen?”

“Sure?” is all he manages in the end.

“I’m sorry it had to go that far. That’s not how I wanted to do this...”

“No, that’s…” Bodhi can still taste her on his lips when he licks them nervously, or imagines that he can. “Is Cassian going to be okay with it?”

For some reason his question makes Jyn laugh, sharp and genuine. “Cassian? You think Cassian is going to-- Bodhi, he’ll be fine with it, believe me.” She nudges him. “He might be upset that I’m the one that got to kiss you.”

Bodhi rolls his eyes at her. “That’s a terrible joke. He will not.”

“You should ask him.”

It’s Bodhi’s turn to laugh now, just slightly hysterical as he pictures that one. “Not on your life. What’s he going to say when he comes back from playing nice with Serasai to find out that the whole mansion thinks we’re sleeping together now?”

“‘Damn, I wish that were me’?”

“You’re not funny.”

Jyn grins at him, and beckons him to sit on the bed with her while she goes over the result of her security sweep. Bodhi brings out the passcoded datapad, and spends the next half hour going over the layout of the mansion, focusing in on the corridor with the security room to see if there are any good access points. It helps to focus on the work, reading over the exact locations of each security camera, including all the hidden ones. Anything not to dwell on the rush he’d felt when she kissed him.

When Cassian finally arrives, both of them look up quickly, taking in the tension lines around his mouth. He seems no further worse for wear - just visibly ready to be done with everything that has to do with either of the Serasai’s. Bodhi hates the idea that what’s happened might add to the tension, wondering if perhaps there was a way to explain how they got the data without mentioning the kiss. It was in the name of the mission, after all, a means to an end. Holding it back didn’t sit right though either. However it might make Cassian feel about him, Bodhi realized he’d have to face up to it.

Instead of greeting him, Jyn waves from the bed and declares, “Surprise, dear husband, we’re all having a passionate threesome now.”

Cassian freezes midstep. Bodhi groans and covers his face. “Jyn, come on.”

“We are?” Cassian asks lightly. “Was there a conversation that I missed?” And that definitely doesn’t help.

“Only with Maris Serasai,” Bodhi grumbles back. A curious play of emotions goes across Cassian’s face. “It’s common gossip in the house, apparently. We didn’t make it any better.”

Jyn leans forward with a wicked little smile. “Be prepared for one of them to say we were found en flagrante in one of the service halls.”

Cassian gazes at them for a long moment. “...Huh.”

When the spy gives no further reaction, Bodhi’s unable to stop himself any longer. “Jyn had to kiss me for it to work,” he announces. He grimaces quickly after at Cassian’s jolt, the way his eyes swing over to Bodhi as if seeing him for the first time.

“You… did?” Cassian shoots a glance at Jyn, contemplative. It does nothing to help Bodhi’s nerves. He’s not afraid of Cassian shouting at him, and outright attacking him is a laughable possibility. What Bodhi _is_ afraid of is Cassian’s silence. The idea that he’ll bottle up his grievance and hold Bodhi at arm’s length for it. But while there’s a careful veil over Cassian’s expression, Bodhi can’t detect anything but worry in them. “And that was alright with you?” is Cassian’s only question for him.

He blinks. That was the last thing he expected to hear. Beside him Jyn is noticeably quiet, worrying her lip, remorse evident in her expression. “Um. Yeah, it was alright. Is that alright with _you?_ ”

Cassian’s brow knits in confusion. “Of course it is. You had to do it to… what were you doing that got you in that situation in the first place?”

At this, Jyn slides the slicer closer to him. “We did a diagnostic sweep of Sersai’s security at the access hatch outside his study. So Bodhi can disable the cameras. It’ll give him time to slice into the office and the files with less risk of being caught.” She quirks a brow at him in challenge. “While you’ll be dancing with me and entertaining both Alex and Maris Serasai.”

If Bodhi didn’t know Cassian better, he’d say the man was seconds away from rolling his eyes. “That wasn’t the plan we agreed to.”

“Right. We didn’t _agree_ on anything. But instead of just jumping to the most unnecessary plan-”

 _“Jyn,”_ Cassian breaks in, voice soft but warning, his eyes tracking over to Bodhi and back. A sign that he had no plans to let Bodhi in on the truth anytime soon. Even after all the talk with Jyn, it hurt, knowing Cassian didn’t trust either of their judgment when it came to this, that he wouldn’t even take Bodhi’s under consideration at all.

Jyn bites her lip, sighing before she continues with what’s relevant. “Bodhi and I actually went to find out what we’re up against. You can take it or leave it, but don't be an ass.” She holds the tool out to him in a silent offer. It takes Cassian a few moments, each one more breathless than the last, to take it from her.

“I’m not agreeing to anything yet, understood?” He says, the gentleness of his tone betraying the stubborn warning. He nods to the datapad in Bodhi’s hands. “What do you have?”

“Uh, right,” Bodhi says, hurrying to pull up their security maps and system keys. And just like that, the conversation moves on to more serious things, each detail learned a point in their favor in keeping Cassian safe. With that hope in his mind, it’s easy to shove aside his concerns about jealousy, about the kiss itself, the way Jyn had felt pressed close against him… It didn’t mean anything when there was so much else on the line.

When the mission was over he could worry about it, could replay the moment in his mind and hope that it hadn’t given away too much. For now he could only focus on his friends, wishing he could reach out and smooth the furrowed lines of Cassian’s brow and somehow earn Jyn’s faith in him. 

Looking at the mess of data the small screen he resolves to commit it to memory. It wouldn’t be easy but he could try, would try anything for the two of them. If he was good for nothing else on this mission, he would be good enough to see this through.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to ANTchan again for writing the last chapter, and for beta'ing the rest and being my creative springboard basically always! :D Additional thanks to pontmercyingtilthecowscomehome for reading through! <3

The next day is not what any of them had planned for, starting from another awkward breakfast where Bodhi watches from the sidelines. He listens, bored and nearly zoning out, until the fixed plan of the boring day is disrupted with an announcement from Alex. There’s an urgent business emergency that he simply _must_ deal with and that he’ll be spending the day in the city as a result. His wife complains of their rotten timing, and Alex talks her down from her distress, shooting his fair share of apologetic looks Cassian’s way. The actor in Cassian is at work, a disappointed wrinkle in his brow.

“That is a shame, I wish you a quick solution,” Cassian says, in false and measured concern.

“Business never rests.” Alex shakes his head, looking up at Cassian with a glint in his eyes. “Perhaps you’ll let me bore you with my woes when I return.”

“I’m sure they’re hardly boring, coming from a man of such importance.” Cassian turns on the charm and Alex can’t leave quick enough for Bodhi. “I look forward to it.”

Alex smiles blatantly, seeing himself out with a kiss to his wife’s cheek and a promise to keep his meetings as brief as he can. With a last hungry look to Cassian, he finally goes. Cassian and Jyn are stuck still, of course, at the table with Maris as she picks at her fruit.

“And here I was hoping to take Cara out for a girl’s day,” Maris complains with a pout, paying the exchange no mind. “You can come along of course, Jonas, though I’ll have to ruin the surprise. I’d planned to take your darling wife to the fathier track, since she showed such an interest before.”

There seems to be something lackluster in the way she says it, like she’s genuinely disappointed to have the change of plans, that Bodhi hardly has to puzzle over. Her real intent is brazen to consider, that all she really wants to do is pump Jyn for more tales of her scandalous affairs. The thought of her talking about Bodhi again, of doting on them both while Jyn makes up more lies about what they get up to together, is enough to make him flush. With Cassian there he’d at least be free of that, he reasons, trying not to react. 

“Oh, what a thoughtful idea,” Jyn gushes in false enthusiasm. “Jonas, can we?”

“Sweetheart, if you’ve seen one fathier you’ve seen them all,” Cassian laughs. “I think I’ll stay back, don’t let me keep you though.”

“I wouldn’t want to be a bad host,” Maris quibbles faintly. Bodhi really hopes she’ll reconsider, reschedule the day trip, anything to get him out of a day spent in quiet suffering.

“I could leave Sahar here with him,” Jyn proposes thoughtfully, barely biting back a smirk. “I’m sure they’d find some way to pass the time.”

Maris takes a long sip of her tea, looking between Cassian and Bodhi with barely scandalized delight. “Really, you don’t think you’ll _have need_ of him again?”

Jyn laughs, “I’m sure the two of us will be just fine. A true girl’s day, as you said. As long as Jonas agrees?”

“I suppose we could manage with my maid on hand,” Maris mulls over the idea, more or less to herself. 

Cassian is beyond relaxed as he nods, taking Jyn’s hand in his own on top of the table. “Anything that would make you happy, my sweet. It’ll be nice to explore the grounds at my own pace, they’re so expansive after all. I might even take a dip in the lake. Sahar will make sure I don’t drown, isn’t that right?”

Bodhi is so unused to being addressed over meals that he sputters, “Oh, of course, sir.” 

Jyn smiles over at Bodhi sweetly, before returning her gaze to Cassian and ducking in close, “Then it’s settled, he’ll take good care of you for me,” she says, tipping in for a kiss, like she can’t help but shove their relationship in Maris’s face just a bit.

After a long moment Maris clears her throat, folding her napkin on her plate. “I’ll go freshen up and meet you at the speeder carriage shortly then.”

Jyn pulls back from where she was all but nuzzling Cassian. “Perfect.”

\---

It’s not long before Jyn is freshening up as well, making a quick trip up to the room to curse her luck at Maris’s insistent friendship. Cassian humors her, and as a small blessing, helps her into clothes that are apparently “more appropriate” for a trip into the city than her flowy sundress had been. Bodhi sits on the bed and frowns, wondering if he should even broach the topic of what Jyn’s likely conversation topics with Maris will be...not wanting to even _think_ about what she might say about their drummed up liaisons. He bites his tongue, not willing to admit his modesty on the matter, knowing Jyn will be nothing close to aloof. 

He tries not to dwell on it and finds it no easier to think of Cassian, the things he might finally have a chance at saying when they’re alone. Part of him wants to scold Cassian still, to ask how in the stars he’d expected Jyn and Bodhi to react to his plan, but the rest of him knows the answer doesn’t matter so much now. Not when he and Jyn are doing all they can, short of self sabotage, to avoid it. Most of all he wants to sit Cassian down and foolishly ask if he’s _alright_. 

Jyn goes and he has no choice but to bury both options down, waiting on Cassian to tell him just what they’re meant to do for the day. Without Serasai around there must be some angle to play, some lead to get on the mission. What he doesn’t expect, is for Cassian to throw a swimsuit at him. Bodhi flinches, catching it just barely, sputtering when he realizes what it is.

“Oh no, you can’t have been serious,” Bodhi hisses and Cassian shrugs, grabbing another pair of the thin shorts from the wardrobe. He peeks at Bodhi from around the door, not looking bothered in the slightest.

“It’s not as if we have anything more pressing we can do. It’s not safe to get close to the office or to the security room today, too suspicious. Even without either of the Serasais around. I’m positive they’ll have that butler watching us, if not for security then out of Maris’ apparent interest in our… affairs.”

Bodhi makes a point not to fluster at the perfectly reasonable answers, knowing that Cassian is probably right. It would be safer to be away from the house, not having to look over their shoulders, but still… 

“Swimming...really?” Bodhi tries, holding up the small pair of shorts with some trepidation. Cassian doesn’t reply. He’s too busy stripping off his clothes already and… Bodhi gets up and hurries to the bathroom to do the same. Seeing him in just those shorts all day, and acting casual about it, feels like an almost insurmountable task. It’s almost as unfair as Jyn’s kiss had been the day before, and suddenly he can’t get her teasing words out of his head, about Cassian wanting to kiss him too. He shakesshook his head of the thought, refusing to linger on the impossible, knowing no good would come of it.. 

Bodhi undresses quickly, slipping into the swim trunks and feeling entirely too exposed. He looks at himself in the mirror and it confirms that much. He reaches for a towel from the rack and spots a pair of silky looking robes, hooked on the back of the door. He’s pretty sure it was meant for Jyn, with the lace around the edges, but can’t bring himself to care at the moment, shrugging it on and tying the sash firmly shut. He looks ridiculous but at least he’s not quite so underdressed. 

He grabs a pair of towels and forces himself to leave the fresher. Cassian is standing by the door waiting for him. Forcing himself not to stare at the lean expanse of Cassian’s body, the way the suit rides just too low on his hips, Bodhi averts his gaze, pressing the other robe into his hands. 

“Bodhi,” Cassian trails off with a breathless sound, like a laugh. Great, Bodhi _did_ look ridiculous. “I don’t think I’ll need this.”

“You might get cold,” Bodhi insists, tucking his own robe tighter against his skin, still not looking Cassian in the eye out of sheer embarrassment. “On the way back, I mean. I don’t know.” Bodhi shrugs self consciously, wishing the ground would swallow him, just a bit.

Cassian is looking at him with that soft expression again, the same one he gets sometimes when Bodhi rambles about mechanics back on base. Bodhi would bask in it if he wasn’t sure Cassian was still laughing at him deep down.

“Fine, you don’t have to, I’ll just put it back,” Bodhi says, shuffling a step back towards the fresher. Cassian reaches out, grasping Bodhi by the elbow before he can get too far.

“Alright, give it here,” Cassian says, taking the robe from Bodhi’s hands and pulling it on. The smooth fabric looks far better on him than on Bodhi and in the end does very little to tamp down the distraction. They leave the guest room and Bodhi clutches the folded towels tight, vowing to get a hold of himself by the time they reach the lake.

What he hadn’t quite anticipated was how the servants would look at them together, as they walked down the halls, in the wake of his and Jyn’s… display. They all smile in courtesy to Cassian, who walks a few steps ahead to lead the way, but Bodhi can’t help but catch their disapproving looks. He’s starting to feel offended, defensive even, at being judged so blatantly. Even if the rumors and Jyn’s assertions had been true, he hardly felt deserving of their scorn. Feeling bold and restless, he steps forward, keeping better pace with Cassian and daring them to look twice.

Cassian shoots him a glance at the move, edging close enough so that their elbows bump, but says nothing. They’re outside in the fresh air soon, away from all the prying eyes and whispers, and Bodhi has to admit it’s nice. They circle round the back of the house, down a wide veranda hedged with flowers Bodhi doesn’t even know the name for, until they reach a long dock out onto the lake. They’re at the opposite side of the property from where their ship is docked, far more secluded, quiet save for the sound of the lapping water in the wind. 

Swimming really is a ridiculous idea but while he’s still wrapped in the robe and starting to sweat, Bodhi has to admit the weather is perfect for it. Cassian steps past him, down to the edge, kicking off his shoes and disrobing. Bodhi expects him to dive right in, perhaps even leave Bodhi to sit on the dock if he’s lucky. Maybe at a distance Cassian wouldn’t be quite so difficult to look at.

He has no such luck of course, not when Cassian glances over his shoulder with a smirk, hesitating before he asks, “You do know how to swim, right?”

Bodhi scoffs, wishing he could explain that swimming is hardly the problem. The problem is the same as it always is when it comes to getting close to Cassian, or Jyn for that matter, the fear that somehow he’ll let slip how much he enjoys it. He’s being pathetic, he knows that, but sometimes he wishes that he could just tell them. Then maybe Cassian would stop looking at him like that after all.

“You know I can,” Bodhi huffs, forcing down his feelings. “Just get in, I’ll be a second.”

Cassian watches him a beat longer before he finally turns away from Bodhi and stretches his back out. The slope of his spine reveals too much, catching Bodhi’s eye in the sunlight, a telltale sign he’s not who he’s pretending to be for the Serasai’s. The scars from Scarif are still there, fragile white lines that stretch along the small of his back like a starmap. Someone of Jonas Drayton’s status could afford to have them erased, like they never happened. 

Bodhi forces himself to look away, not to get caught up in overthinking everything Cassian and himself have been through together. Cassian dives into the water in a smooth motion, carefree and smiling when he surfaces, shaking his wet hair once before he looks Bodhi’s way. He raises an eyebrow, daring and teasing all at once, and Bodhi decides he’s had enough of hesitating, when it comes to this at least. He strips off the silly robe, leaving it in a pile on the ground, and takes off running to the edge of the dock before he can change his mind, using the momentum to propel his jump into the water. 

The cold is a shock to his system, overriding all his other petty concerns as he comes up for air and sputters, treading water as he acclimates. He looks over and Cassian is slicking his hair back, looking far more comfortable than Bodhi is already. 

“How long do we have to stay in here, again?” Bodhi asks and Cassian rolls his eyes.

“You get used to it, it’s nice. C’mon,” Cassian says, flipping onto his back and backstroking out further towards wide the lake’s center. Bodhi _can_ swim, he hadn’t lied about that, but he’s not quite so practiced as Cassian. He sticks to a slow paddle, with no choice but to follow. Cassian breaks and waits for him once he’s realized the gap building between them, and doesn’t tease Bodhi over it like the others had back on Yavin IV. It’s a small courtesy but it matters. Though he’s loathe to admit it, the water does feel nicer after a bit, soothing against his sore muscles. The house shrinks in the distance and Bodhi feels that he might just be able to _relax_ for a while.

Cassian looks almost at ease, aside from one small thing, he keeps flitting his gaze back Bodhi’s way. Like he’s just waiting for the right moment to say something. 

“No Gungans live out here, right?” Bodhi jokes, trying to diffuse whatever tension’s caught hold of Cassian. Cassian shakes his head, flicking his hand over the water to send a splash Bodhi’s way. 

“No, they definitely do not,” Cassian circles Bodhi, swimming closer, “I don’t even think any live on Naboo anymore, truthfully.” 

“Maybe they just stopped coming up to the surface,” Bodhi offered.

“Maybe.” Cassian shifts his arms through the water, treading slow.

“So,” Bodhi tries again, hoping to puzzle Cassian out. “Is there a real reason we’re out here?”

“Figured it would save us time sweeping for bugs,” Cassian jokes, though it is a fair point.

“That mean you have something to talk about?” Bodhi asks, hopeful when he adds, “A new plan?” 

“Yes…and no. Not entirely at least. Things with Serasai are coming along.”

His expression is plain and he’s careful with his words, the ease from only minutes before fading at the change in subject. Bodhi knows the mission is serious work, too important to screw up, but he wishes it didn’t have to take so much. The mention of Serasai has Bodhi quietly raging, at the unfairness and the fact that Cassian might not tell him still. As if he hadn’t been obvious about it just that morning at breakfast. Had Cassian thought Bodhi too naive to notice?

“Are they?” 

Bodhi prepares himself for another lie, wanting to bear it for Cassian’s sake. There would be plenty of time to tell him off later, to say all the things he knows Jyn has already, and hope that by the next time Cassian would learn to value himself more. It was a distant hope, more unlikely than most, but he had to keep it, to keep going. 

Cassian’s mouth thins into a line, tension clear even as he treads through the water gracefully, and when he meets Bodhi’s eyes he looks tired.

“Jyn told you, didn’t she?” Cassian asks, his expression wavering somewhere between frustration and calm acceptance.

“She had to,” Bodhi says, wishing they were having this conversation anywhere else but at the center of a lake. There was no way to pace or hide from anything out here. “Do you have any idea-” Bodhi cuts himself off, breathing deep, splitting his focus between his feelings and keeping afloat. “He kept trying to get you alone and I was worried Serasai was...was dangerous or something. You should have just let me know.”

“It’s not as if I’m any happier about it than the two of you. It wasn’t important and I-”

“You not being happy is _exactly_ why it’s important, not to mention what you’re doing to Jyn. She won’t say it but I think you really hurt her, not trusting her judgment.” If she were here she’d stubbornly deny it of course, his friends never seemed to cease when it came to quiet suffering. Bodhi focuses on her, on what’s important, in a staunch effort to keep his own selfish feelings separate.

“What about my judgment?” Cassian asks. “I know the risks and they’re too high for me to risk either of you, just let me do what I’m good at.”

“Cassian,” Bodhi feels more sad than anything. “You may be good at it but you shouldn’t have to give yourself up like that, for her, for me, for _anyone_.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way but you won’t change my mind. I’m doing whatever I think is best for the mission, even if it means sleeping with Serasai the night of the gala.”

Cassian doesn’t wait for Bodhi’s reply, doesn’t wait for him at all, turning back towards the dock and swimming away. The water is starting to feel too cold again and at least that Bodhi can agree with. He’d rather be anywhere else.

Bodhi’s legs are tired from all the treading water, and his chest aches with the anxiety of being out too far still. Especially alone. He starts to make his way back and it’s just as slow going as before, Cassian would probably be back up to the house by the time he’s made it to the dock. To keep up their covers he might wait at least, hopefully. The last thing he wants is to be cornered and questioned by nosy servants after this.

He’s not even half as far as Cassian has got when he feels something slippery brush against his foot, making his heart all but jolt out of his chest, he feels it _again_ and he flails. If he were a better swimmer he could recover, and if he weren’t so tired, but his head goes under the water and he’s floundering pathetically, terrified because Cassian is so far. 

“Help!” he calls out desperately, trying to right himself, but he’s swallowed water and it comes out choked. The panic only makes things worse, he tries to breathe, tries not to struggle too hard but his limbs are unwieldy against the weight of the water. And then, Cassian is there, wrapping his arms around Bodhi, voice shaken.

“Bodhi, I’ve got you, just hang on. Breathe.”

Bodhi takes a breath and his chest feels sharp, he coughs, airway tight. Cassian is breathing hard too, working to keep them both afloat as he tows Bodhi in to shore. The water feels endless but eventually the dock is in sight. Cassian has to let him go, briefly, to haul himself out, leaving Bodhi to cling to the side of the dock. He tries to pull himself up but just as soon as he’s moved Cassian is there, helping him out and bundling a towel around him moments later.

Bodhi coughs again, clutching the towel tight around himself, his stomach sick from not only the ordeal but the embarrassment. Cassian won’t leave his side, his breathing ragged as he watches Bodhi with wide guilty eyes.

“Bodhi, I’m so sorry, I’m so-” He looks like he might cry, and Bodhi feels a lump forming in his already raw throat at the realization. He’s _never_ seen Cassian cry. “Please tell me you’re alright.”

“I got startled by something,” Bodhi says, knowing it sounds weak. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m a terrible swimmer, really.” He wants to laugh it off, but the sound won’t come, not when he’s still so hurt after the fight and everything he still feels. Cassian isn’t buying it either, his expression wrought with concern. 

“I shouldn’t have left you, it’s my fault. _All of this._ I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry I can’t swim right?” He tries again, because he’s fine, he is and seeing Cassian so scared is starting to scare him even more.

“I’m sorry I don’t know any better way to keep you safe,” Cassian answers, and Bodhi knows he doesn’t just mean the lake. It’s an apology Bodhi never expected and it doesn’t make things better but it means something all the same. Cassian is still touching him, arms looped around him and Bodhi gives in to the needy urge to lean into the touch. He buries his face against Cassian’s wet shoulder and breathes, willing away the ache in his limbs and his chest, just to forgive him.

After a while he starts to feel less shaky, his breaths not coming quite so hard after he’s made the effort of synching them with Cassian’s. He’s not sure if they’ve ever been this close before, certainly not for so long, and he must be alright because the butterflies in his stomach are back with full force. He lifts his head and sits up, pulling away until Cassian takes the hint and realizes he can let go. 

Cassian is watching him closely still, worried and wary, like he’s afraid Bodhi might still drown right where he’s sat.

“I feel better,” Bodhi promises. “And I’m cold, assuming you’re not taking another dip…”

Cassian studies him a beat longer, and a small smile finally slips through the grimness, though it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I’m all set,” Cassian says, standing up and helping Bodhi to his feet, even though he hardly needs it. He takes care to bring Bodhi the ridiculous robe, holding it open so Bodhi can slide his arms in. Bodhi re-ties the sash around his waist, sure that would be the next thing Cassian offered if he didn’t.

It all starts to feel a bit like something out of a holoromance as they return to the mansion, where the brooding hero saves the damsel one time and dotes on her for the rest of her life. He isn’t a damsel though, not in the slightest, even if he was the one who half drowned. He hoped Cassian would snap out of it though, unsure if his heart could take a whole afternoon of Cassian’s gentle attention. Soon finding out that was exactly what Cassian intended.

“Wait here,” Cassian tells him after they return to their rooms, “I can run a bath…or shower if you’d prefer?”

“I already know how to run the bath,” Bodhi insists. “Really, Cassian, you don’t have to feel worried, and especially not guilty, about what happened. I’m _fine._ ”

“It’s not about that, just, please let me take care of you?”

“You’d never let me take care of you, even after-” _Scarif,_ the word they both hate to hear out loud, stubbornly on his mind at the worst times. “You hardly ever let anyone.”

“Maybe I’ll surprise you someday,” Cassian quips back, not backing down. Bodhi sighs, shivering a bit from the chill of the air conditioner unit running high, all but forcing his answer. The sudden need to be warm overrides arguing with Cassian’s needless caretaking.

“I don’t see the point but sure, go turn the bath on for me. I’ll grab some fresh clothes.”

Cassian doesn’t look completely satisfied but accepts Bodhi’s answer, disappearing into the fresher. Bodhi shuffles over to the wardrobe and quibbles over what he could stand to wear right now, the stiff collared uniform shirts definitely ruled out. It would be a few hours more before he had to go down for lunch, or perhaps Jyn and Maris wouldn’t even be back by then. Would there even be need of him then? He considers the thought of dining alone with Cassian and Serasai while they flirt, and thinks drowning might have been kinder.

Cassian comes out of the fresher and Bodhi still hasn’t picked anything to change into. What a great way of showing he’s fine, he thinks in frustration. Bodhi looks through his scant pile of options and wonders if he could just stay in the robe a while, until he doesn’t feel so… He shuts his eyes, breathing deep, and when he opens them Cassian is at his side. He says nothing, reaching past Bodhi to pull open the next drawer down and pulling out a pair of his own loose pajamas, pressing them into Bodhi’s hands.

Bodhi won’t argue, can’t with the way everything is hitting him still, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. (As if that wasn’t another trigger entirely.) Bodhi takes the clothes with quiet thanks and heads into the fresher, eager to get warm again and hopefully regain some semblance of calm. The bath is drawn and scented with fragrant soap, the surface coated in pink bubbles, a luxury he’s seen in holos but never experienced. Under better circumstances, he might even feel excited for it. He pauses dropping the towels, only to hear footfalls behind him, glancing up to see that Cassian has followed him in. 

“Cass, really? I’m-”

“You’re exhausted,” Cassian says. “I’d rather not handle another near drowning today.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Bodhi says, looking at the tub with a sigh, knowing he should get in before the water cools. He shrugs off the robe, which he’s foolishly still wearing, and eyes Cassian hesitantly, waits until he takes the hint to turn away, before stripping off the swim trunks too. He rushes himself into the water and his system shocks at the heat, the cold in his bones swiftly ebbing away. He sinks under the bubbles enough to keep his modesty and clears his throat. Cassian glances at him a long moment, as if assuring that he’s okay, before settling, sitting on the smooth marble floor with his back pressed against the door.

It should be awkward to have him there, to be so doted upon, but Bodhi can’t deny the calm his company brings. He rests his neck against the back of the tub, idly swishes his arms in the water, and tries to enjoy the warmth. He hasn’t bathed in a tub this big ever in his life, the size of it closer to the barrel that had stored water for his block in NiJedha than something made for such a frivolous use. He wants to wash his hair but the thought of dunking under stops him, not wanting to jar the recent trauma loose quite so soon, which leaves him with little to do but sit and soak. In the quiet his eyelids feel heavy, so he shuts them, listens to the water lapping as his chin sinks under.

“Bodhi,” Cassian’s voice breaks through. Kriff, maybe he’d been right about not leaving Bodhi alone if he could doze off so easily.

“I’m sorry,” Bodhi says, propping himself up further in the tub, wondering if he should just get out. The cool air on his wet shoulders makes him shiver, loathing the idea of moving more just yet. “I can stay awake, I swear,” he adds, hoping the words can convince his body to obey.

“It’s alright,” Cassian soothes. “I can talk, if it helps.”

“Mm, what about?”

Cassian pauses, looking thoughtful, amusement breaking across his features after a beat. “How about… the fact that I sent Kay off on a mission with Skywalker for the week.”

“You _didn’t_.”

“He needed a co-pilot and Kay kept complaining about how bored he’d be with us away. I gave him the option to help and he took it.”

“That seems… oddly kind of Kay.”

“I think he might have done it to make me jealous,” Cassian says, and there’s no disguising his smile. Wondering just how much good Kay must have done over the years, just for that sake, Bodhi laughs. 

“That makes more sense.”

“He means well, really, I just hope Luke doesn’t expect him to follow orders… ”

Bodhi snorts, “ _I_ just hope he doesn’t overwhelm Kay’s circuits with all that bright optimism. Pretty sharp difference after getting so used to you.”

Bodhi wonders if the joking words were too harsh, his filter failing him. Cassian doesn’t seem hurt though, more speculative than that. “I’m plenty optimistic,” Cassian starts and Bodhi waits him out. “Optimistic that Kay won’t try and make me jealous again anytime soon. And that we’ll all get an earful from him about it when we get back.”

Cassian stands, stretching out his back. Bodhi should never have let him sit there with his old injuries, should have told him he could perch on the side of the tub. _Or get in it himself._ Bodhi has to bite back a laugh at the train of thought, as if this really was a holonovel. Cassian fetches the towel he’d set on the heater and takes a step towards the tub.

Bodhi shifts in the water anxiously. Cassian looks uncharacteristically awkward himself, holding open the towel in offering. “I won’t look,” he promises, already averting his eyes somewhere up over Bodhi’s shoulder, as if the crown molding were fascinating. Bodhi nods, even though Cassian can’t see it, punctuating the motion with a soft agreement before he stands. He climbs out of the tub carefully, steps close into Cassian’s space, blood rushing in his ears even without Cassian’s eyes on him. He takes the towel, wrapping it around his waist in a quick motion, keen not to keep Cassian standing there forever.

“Alright,” Bodhi says, clearing his throat. “I’ll just… dry off and get those clothes on then.” 

Cassian meets his eyes, that same soft intensity in his gaze, letting the moment stretch too long. With clear effort, he nods, finally taking a step back, leaving Bodhi with a swish of the fresher door. Bodhi forces himself not to read too far into it, reaching for his clothes. 

All things considered, it doesn’t take too long for Bodhi to get himself together, feeling like the lake was days ago instead of hours, wondering if he can persuade Cassian not to bring it up to Jyn at all. It wasn’t important to the mission, after all, he thinks with a small hint of bitterness lingering at the unresolved argument between them. He takes a centering breath and forces it away, knowing that all he can ask of Cassian now is to be careful. 

He won’t bring it up again, not here, not until they’re home. 

Cassian is sat on the edge of the bed, slipped into an undershirt and another set of sleep pants, still watching Bodhi with entirely too much care. At least he seems to have had the same idea as Bodhi. Bodhi sits down on the couch, having no doubt he’ll be asleep as soon as his head hits the lumpy pillows. 

“I’m just going to rest for a bit,” Bodhi says, doubting Cassian will complain. Bodhi leans back against the cushions, more than ready to nod off, when suddenly Cassian is standing close, reaching out to grasp his hand. 

Bodhi blinks up at him in confusion.

“Not here, Bodhi,” Cassian’s voice is soft if exasperated, he tugs at Bodhi’s hand, urging him up off the couch. “The bed.”

As with the pajamas, and the bath, Bodhi can’t argue, can’t summon the energy when the bed looks so inviting. The covers are untucked on one side, like Cassian had planned this all out. He crawls in, adjusting under the crisp sheets to shift on his side, relaxing into the soft mattress without another word. Cassian pads around the room for a moment, sets the alarm on the bedside, and then quietly joins him. 

Bodhi feels more awake, with the sudden promise of Cassian edging closer, the warmth of him impossible to ignore. If Bodhi just sticks to his own side he should be alright, he reasons to himself, forcing his eyes shut. He’s shared beds with others before, with recruits on base, and even further back at the Academy, but it’s different with Cassian, just as with Jyn. It’s his own fault though, his own hopeless desire mucking up his life, making it hard not to jolt when Cassian’s hand settles on his hip.

“Sorry,” Cassian says, but he doesn’t pull away. Bodhi’s honest enough with himself to admit he doesn’t _want_ him to. He doesn’t say anything, just buries his face in the pillow, willing himself not to do anything stupid like ease back into the touch. He doesn’t have to in the end, when Cassian slides closer, pressing his face against Bodhi’s back. Bodhi freezes, wishing he could see Cassian, to know if he’s still as upset as before.

“Cass?” he says searchingly, keeping his voice low. 

“This alright?” Cassian asks, something pleading in his voice, like nothing Bodhi’s heard from him before.

“Yeah,” Bodhi manages, swallowing hard, “of course.”

Cassian doesn’t say anything else, brushing his thumb across Bodhi’s hip, content to stick close. Bodhi pulls the covers up higher over them both and wills the tension in his spine to ebb away, craving nothing so much as Cassian’s comfort as his breaths even out. Sleep draws him under and he rests.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to ANTchan for beta'ing as always and to pontmercyingtilthecowscomehome for reading and cheerleading me along <3

When Bodhi opens his eyes, he has no way of knowing how long he’s been asleep. Taking in the dim blue light of the room he shifts on the comfortable mattress, piecing things together from the fog of sleep. He remembers the lake, remembers Cassian close — he stretches a hand out out searchingly, only to find the mattress cool beside him. Bodhi tries not to feel disheartened by his absence, or greedy for the warmth. Instead, all he feels is annoyed that Cassian had chosen not to wake him, leaving Bodhi out of things yet again.

Bodhi wonders if there had been much choice in it at all, if Jyn had needed him, or if Serasai had come back early from the city… Bodhi’s mouth thins into a line and he forces the train of thought away, unwilling to let his imagination play out worse scenarios. He eyes the time on the chrono on the bedside, and wonders if he should bother getting up. It’s later than he’d hoped, and he has no idea when to expect Cassian and Jyn back, knowing all too well how long the Serasais’ fancy dinners could stretch.

If Jyn did come back it would probably be alone, and right now Bodhi isn’t sure what he could say to her, to either of them. He’d accepted Cassian’s comfort with so little protest, so little thought of how it might be betraying Jyn. Now he’s left to wonder what it had meant, if it had meant anything. If Cassian realized how much Bodhi wanted it to mean. Bodhi’s shoulders slump and he brushes a hand over his face, feeling overwhelmed and foolish. _If he isn’t just working himself up again for no reason_ , feels closest to the truth.

Before he can rattle himself any further, there’s a low murmur of voices in the hall, setting him on edge in a different way entirely. He throws his legs over the side of the bed, ready — to do what he isn’t exactly sure — until the door opens with a click, revealing Jyn and Cassian. They’re dressed in their formal dinner wear, which means at some point he must have slept through both of them changing, that Cassian must have been the one to help Jyn into her intricate gown this time. 

Their voices are low still, as Jyn hisses a whisper Bodhi can’t make out, and then they realize he’s awake. No sooner is the door shut than Jyn is walking towards him, her heels clicking across the floor, until she’s almost too close in his space. Her face is a mix of emotions, exhaustion from her day, frustration, and a concern he isn’t used to seeing, not since the medbay when they were all a little worse for wear. She grows near and stands between his legs, only making him anxious.

“Jyn,” he tries, wondering how much Cassian had told her. There’s no doubt that he had, the fact of it clear in her gaze.

“You’re so stupid, _both_ of you. I only left you alone for a couple hours and look what happened,” she complains, her hands coming up to frame Bodhi’s jaw, making him swallow hard. For one heart stalling moment her touch feels like it had before, just before she kissed him. It’s a long beat and he can’t say anything, can’t come to his own defense, or Cassian’s, knowing she won’t take any of it. He brings up a hand to cover hers and that’s when her hands drop away, twisting into the fabric of her dress instead. “I’m glad you’re — that you didn’t — Why did you even swim out that far in the first place?”

Bodhi expects Cassian to break in, to argue for his own role in things, but he’s quiet, guilt still twisting over his own features. Just seeing it makes Bodhi want to apologize for him, anything to smooth the anguished lines away. 

“You didn’t seem worried before,” Bodhi tries, remembering her throwaway line from breakfast, how he would be the one to keep _Cassian_ from drowning. “I don’t know what Cassian’s told you but, it wasn’t that bad! I’m alright. Like I kept _telling him_ all afternoon.” 

She sighs heavily, clearly unconvinced, but he can tell the words ease her anxiety enough that the flight or fight tension seeps out of her. “You’d better be,” she warns, the words lacking her usual edge, like she still can’t quite muster it. He would say anything to bring it back, to laugh it off, to reach out and pull her close. Before he can react she’s beat him to it, looping her arms around him. It’s brief as embraces go but it’s fierce, a reminder of just how much they mean to each other. 

She lets go, pulls back and away, only to turn her expectant gaze on Cassian. But Cassian looks no less pained than before, and if Jyn won’t have mercy on him, Bodhi will. 

“So, how was dinner?” Bodhi blurts out, breaking through the moment, tension juddering in an awkward pause, so sudden that Jyn laughs.

“It _was_.” She shakes her head, bending to peel her heels off, flinging them across the room. “It was awful, as usual, if you must know.”

“Worse,” Cassian admits dryly, speaking for the first time since they’ve come back, finally looking at Bodhi. He toes his own dress shoes off by the bureau, hands occupied with a small container Bodhi hadn’t noticed before.

“What’s that?”

Cassian’s expression changes, some of the darkness eking away. “It’s for you,” he says, bringing the container over, setting it on the bed. Bodhi reaches out and when he opens it he could drool at the contents.

“Force, is that real jogan fruit?” Bodhi marvels at the fresh fruit tart, thick whipped cream and syrup dripping down the side of it. The last time he’d seen anything close to this decadent had been on Yavin, food smuggled down to the medbay from the medal ceremony by Han and Luke. Being offered this now, after days of living on scraps and ration packs, he barely waits to lift the spoon to his mouth for a bite. 

“I knew you had hardly eaten today, so I had it boxed up,” she says sounding pleased. “How is it?” 

Bodhi hums in satisfaction, the flavor of the fruit thick and sweet as he swallows. “It’s perfect. Now at least I can say I got one good thing out of this mission.” Jyn laughs and Cassian’s expression at least borders on a smile, enough that it feels safe to tease. “Though...did it really take me nearly drowning for you to think of stealing me some food?”

Jyn rolls her eyes, and Bodhi feels all the anxiety of the day ebb away, more so with each moment that they’re all together. He finishes off the tart quickly, the portion enough to hold him over for a while. Jyn is reaching the zipper of her dress and Bodhi stands, ready to make himself scarce in the fresher while they both change for the night. He makes it as far as standing up before Jyn is in his space again, pushing him back onto the bed.

“Jyn,” he laughs, looking up at her in question.

“Where do you think your going?”

“The fresher?” Bodhi says, not hiding how puzzled he feels.

“Oh,” Jyn says, stepping back without explaining herself in the slightest, letting him get up again. He raises an eyebrow at the odd behavior but lets it go, shutting himself in the fresher without further incident. He uses the facilities, washes his face, brushes his teeth so the juice from the tart won’t stain them. When he comes out he expects Jyn and Cassian to be in bed already. Instead, he finds Jyn seated on the couch with Cassian leaning against the wall close by, as if they’ve both been waiting for him. 

“Hey, um, is there something from the mission to talk about?”

“Not tonight,” Cassian answers, drawing Jyn’s eyes to him. A silent communication passes between them that Bodhi feels too out of his depth to parse through. 

“Oh well, then… aren’t you guys tired? I’m the one who slept the past five hours after all...” Bodhi trails off, waiting for either of them to move, to get into their bed and leave him to his. The big mattress had been nice while it lasted, he thinks wistfully. Jyn finally stands and Bodhi is willing to chalk their strangeness up to a long night. He moves towards the couch only to feel her reaching out, wrapping a hand around his wrist.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, hoping she won’t notice the jolt of his pulse where her fingers are pressed.

“No,” Jyn says, looking as frustrated as Bodhi feels. “You’re not sleeping here.”

“Oh,” Bodhi says, putting the pieces together. “I can go to the servant’s quarters, of course. You know you could have said.” Bodhi feels himself flushing to the tips of his ears. Of course they need time alone together, after the day Cassian had had with him. They deserve it. Jyn frowns deeper at the answer, opening her mouth to say something when Cassian comes over, laying a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder, the touch probably less jarring than it should be. After the afternoon it was hard to feel fazed by his closeness.

“You’re not sleeping here because you’re sleeping in the bed,” Cassian clarifies, shooting Jyn a look that’s almost teasing.

“With us,” Jyn finishes, as if insistent on having the last word. Bodhi blinks, looking between the two of them, not quite certain if they’re joking or not.

“What?” Is all he can get out before Jyn is tugging him towards the bed and out of Cassian’s touch, ignoring his weak protests. “The couch is fine, really, there’s no reason-” She pushes him down on the bed, a bit more insistently than she had before, and Bodhi has to fight to keep his mind from wandering to decidedly unwholesome fantasies he’s had over the years, of her pushing him down that very same way. She doesn’t mean it that way, _does she?_

There’s a glint in her eyes, a chance and a heat to it that’s unmistakable. Bodhi feels overwhelmed, looking over her shoulder to find Cassian, pleading for some sign. Cassian’s expression betrays nothing, even less so when he turns away, padding across the room to switch the lights off. And then Jyn is pushing Bodhi to lie down, insistent until he gives up and scoots over, settling into the middle of the mattress. Bodhi’s heart is still pounding too fast, enough that if she touches him at all, he’s sure she’d notice.

He knows he could argue more, and that if he really told Jyn he wasn’t comfortable she’d back off, but telling her that would be a lie. She wastes no time crawling in beside him, tugging up the covers and making herself comfortable, she curls up on his chest like she belongs there, like she always has. And if she can hear his heart, she doesn’t seem to mind.

“Is there something I missed?” Bodhi asks, wanting to laugh. Anything to get past the fluttery feeling in his stomach. Jyn shakes her head, the movement more like a soft nuzzle against his chest in her current position.

“You’re comfortable,” Jyn says. “Are you really complaining?”

Bodhi really isn’t.

Cassian hasn’t come back to the bed yet, taking his time before joining them, as if letting Bodhi get acclimated with Jyn first. But he can’t stay away forever, and Bodhi can’t help but tense in anticipation when Cassian finally slides into the bed beside them. Cassian is more careful now than he had been that afternoon, keeping his distance at the edge of the wide mattress, as if he might not acknowledge the two of them tangled together at all. It worries Bodhi, and worse, it disappoints him. There’s no possible way to admit just how good it had felt to have Cassian, asleep and safe, at his side. 

Against all odds and instincts, Bodhi summons the nerve to reach out for him, brushing a hand against Cassian’s elbow just to earn his attention. There’s an unspoken moment between them, in the dart of Cassian’s eyes from Bodhi’s down to Jyn, where Bodhi wishes he could read minds. Cassian’s shifts onto his side, the move finally bringing him closer, their knees just brushing. Nearly enough but still not the same.

“Hey, are you really sure you want this?” Bodhi falters, praying he hasn’t overstepped, still not knowing exactly what _this_ is, and feeling naive for it. He runs through reasons to walk away, wondering if Cassian had changed his mind on the whole jealousy thing, or if it was something else entirely. Having Jyn curled in his arms was hardly the way to-

“Shh,” Jyn stifles the anxious thoughts, lifting her head to eye Cassian speculatively before reaching out for him. She cups his jaw and it’s all it takes for him to follow, ducking in to kiss her as she pleases, as if they aren’t both tangled around Bodhi at all. The sight of them together up so close is nothing he could have prepared for, the soft way Jyn’s lips part, chasing after Cassian’s for just a second more of his touch. 

Bodhi _must_ be dreaming, he thinks with an airy laugh, the sound drawing both their attention. He bites his lip to smother it, feeling his face heat. It’s suddenly impossible not to notice the way Cassian’s eyes linger on his mouth. Bodhi darts out his tongue, wetting his lips, just to see him and Jyn both track the movement. Of all the improbable things in his life; defecting from the Empire, getting the plans, surviving Scarif, the want in their eyes feels even less likely. For a moment he’s so sure that they’re going to do something about it, that all Cassian would have to do is lean in a little closer.

And then, like the air going out of a sail, Cassian seems to shrink back, tearing his eyes away. The moment dissipates. Bodhi doesn’t miss the frustrated huff of air from Jyn, or the quietly whispered, _“Really?”_ that passes her lips. Bodhi wants to laugh, to scream, but he can’t say anything wrapping his arms tighter around Jyn instead. If Cassian was keeping his cards close to his chest then she was an open book, looking nearly as frustrated as Bodhi is, though nowhere near as overwhelmed. He realizes she’s with him in this, waiting for Cassian to catch up, and as much as Bodhi wants to rush ahead, he trusts her lead. Kissing her outright feels too forward, too sudden, so he settles for pressing his lips to her forehead. 

The gentle brush of his lips seems to sooth her annoyance, at least a little bit, her body melting against his. Every inch of closeness feels new and yet inevitable, thinking back on the kiss in the hall, wondering if it’s safe to assume he can do that again in the future without feeling guilty. Part of him aches to ask her, here and now, but the rest is so warm and tired, so protective of this fragile thing, that he keeps still. He quiets his racing heart with the promise that when this is all over, the mission and the lies, they’ll have to talk. 

Maybe by then Cassian would be ready for it too.

Right now Cassian lies quiet in the dark, face half concealed in his pillow, eyes shut. Bodhi knows he’s not asleep yet, his posture is too tight and he’s drawn in on himself, as if self conscious about reaching out. Bodhi won’t push him, knowing just how rarely that ever works with Cassian. But he can’t leave him alone and curled in on himself either. He makes a compromise with himself, taking Cassian’s hand in his, easing it from Cassian’s side of the bed to rest on his chest instead. 

Cassian stops feigning sleep for just long enough to look at Bodhi, eyes vulnerable and so clearly tired, before he takes the offer for what it is. He tucks himself closer against Bodhi’s side, pressing his cheek against Bodhi’s shoulder. “Goodnight,” Cassian whispers, not even startling when Jyn presses a kiss to his knuckles. It’s a move Bodhi would love to repeat himself but doesn’t dare, still unsure of just what Cassian’s feeling.

And with that, things seem settled, Bodhi left surrounded, so warm he hardly needs the blanket that’s pulled over them, trying to keep his calm as Jyn and Cassian fall asleep in his arms. He’s still not quite convinced any of this is real, but he desperately hopes it is. If anything is worth all of this worry, it’s the two of them. If they’d have Bodhi, he’d spend a lifetime proving it. Proving just how much he loves them.

It’s a heavy word to think, after years spent yearning, but he knows in his heart there’s no denying it. Whether they felt it back or not, in every way that mattered, he would always be theirs. Admitting it to himself makes it somehow easier to savor; stroking a hand down Jyn’s back in a soothing motion, cataloguing the way the moons’ light plays across Cassian’s features. Bodhi still isn't tired, not really, but he finds himself relaxing in the quiet, happy to keep watch.

\---

Bodhi is slow to rise the next morning, far more pleasantly than any other, the splash of sun from the window not so intrusive for once. Despite his bleary consciousness, he keeps his eyes closed, burying his face in Jyn’s hair, not quite ready to let go of his dreams. He’d curled further around her somewhere in the night, shifting onto his side. There’s a sudden squeeze at his hip, gentle but insistent, and then Cassian’s pressing closer, breath hot on the shell of Bodhi’s ear.

“Bo, c’mon,” Cassian says, his voice soft with sleep, shaking Bodhi gently in punctuation. “Breakfast is getting cold, there’s no way I’m going to get Jyn to wake up without you.” His voice is purposefully cajoling, but undoubtedly amused, just enough to stir Bodhi into waking.

“Breakfast?” Bodhi opens his eyes to peer over his shoulder, breath nearly catching at the simple sight of Cassian still in his sleep clothes, his dark hair haloed in sunlight. Bodhi wants to kiss him, suddenly and with such ardor, that he feels himself leaning in, stopping himself just before it’s too obvious. Whatever they are to each other they aren’t there yet, he reminds himself, not wanting to push his luck. Jyn hums in discontent at the movement all the same, burying her face in Bodhi’s shirt.

“Jyn,” Bodhi breathes, nearly laughing at her persistence. “Did you hear any of that?”

“No,” she replies stubbornly, not budging an inch.

“You have to go down for breakfast, for your cover,” Bodhi tries, hating it.

“Not exactly,” Cassian interrupts. “A tray was delivered. With a note from Maris addressed to Lady Drayton here.” Cassian reaches over Bodhi to push at Jyn’s shoulder, teasing her with the lightness he so rarely gets a chance to exhibit, before he pads away from the bed completely. It does the trick, making Jyn uncurl from her cocoon of blankets.

“I’m awake, alright,” Jyn grumbles, finally showing her face, her hair disheveled from the night. Thoughtlessly, Bodhi reaches up to brush it away from her face, tucking it behind her ear, marveling at the way her annoyed glare fizzles out at the touch. 

“Good morning,” he says, and it’s Jyn’s turn to stare at him apparently, her bright eyes conveying as much surprise as his own, catching herself in the habit after a long beat. With an uncharacteristic blush, she tips close, pressing a kiss to his cheek that lingers.

“It is pretty good, isn’t it?”

She leans back and her smile is another wonder, one he aches to capture in a kiss. He holds himself back still, still too conscious of Cassian, still trying to let him set the pace. Or, as was seeming more likely with each glance, to at least let Jyn be the one to push when it comes down to it. 

At the mention of food and with the intimate moment wrung out, Jyn finally peels herself from the bed, freeing Bodhi from his space in the middle. By the window, a small square table that Bodhi had hardly noticed before, is set, with two of the three plates covered with silver lids. Cassian is already digging in, looking pleased with himself when Jyn makes an excited bee-line for the food, sliding into the seat across from him. Bodhi follows after, in almost as much of a rush, before he thinks to question it.

“Did they really send a whole plate up for _me?_ ”

Cassian picks up a small envelope from the center of the table, passing it over to Bodhi in lieu of an explanation. Bodhi slides the letter out of the already opened message, scanning it over, unable to help the awkward laugh that follows.

“Well, I certainly won’t say no to it…” Bodhi concedes, settling down beside Jyn.

“What? Give that here,” Jyn pipes in, setting down her fork just long enough to grab it. She reads it over and her brow furrows, skimming the excuses about the gala that made them call off the formal breakfast to read the end. “ _‘Sent up a little something for your sweet Sahar too, since you’re working him so hard.’ ..._ Force, it sounds like bad poetry. Can’t that woman get a life?”

She discards the note just as quick as she’d nabbed it. “We’re not really working you too hard, are we?” She asks, nudging Bodhi’s side. “Not yet, at least.”

Bodhi shushes her, burying his smile in his coffee mug. “You’re the _worst._ ”

She looks smug at the comment, even as she carries on eating. Bodhi peeks Cassian’s way, hoping her teasing hasn’t made him go distant again, only to catch a familiar look in his eyes. There’s an understanding that passes between them, then, of kindred spirits who share a long-suffering love for the same woman. At least, in this, they’re on the same page. 

The morning meal is easy to share, uneventful yet pleasant, feeling far more like a date than any Bodhi’s ever had before. In the past, back before he defected, his flings had always been brief and fumbling. Sharing a ration pack with a hook up on a long flight, finding the right eyes in a dim bar, giving up all pretenses that any part of it was personal. With Jyn and Cassian there’s no mistaking that it is, that it’s _him_ they want close, against all odds.

They’re eating food Bodhi could never afford, on a planet he may never visit again, surrounded by enemies, and yet somehow it’s perfect. As much focus as he puts on the truly blissful meal, he feels his eyes drawn back to them often, switching between Cassian and Jyn, as if they might just vanish. When he looks at Jyn this time, he has to smother a laugh.

“What is it?” Jyn asks, frowning. She looks adorable, he thinks, knowing she’d probably punch him for saying so.

“You’ve got jam,” Bodhi explains, gesturing vaguely, reaching out before he can think better of it, pausing just short of touching her. “Can I?”

She rolls her eyes and nods, tipping into his space. His thumb brushes over her lip, catching the worst of the mess, bringing it back to his own mouth to lick it clean. Jyn’s cheeks flush red as the jam, and it takes Bodhi a moment to realize why. He feels his own face heat once he figures it out, laughing softly at his own expense rather than Jyn’s. He hadn’t meant to be obscene, but Jyn curses all the same, the gleam of want in her eyes impossible to discount.

“Not fair,” she huffs, shaking her head, shooting a pointed look Cassian’s way for good measure. For Cassian’s part, there’s perhaps a certain fluster in the quick way he flicks through the news on his datapad, but Bodhi isn’t bold enough to tease. Bodhi murmurs an apology, biting back a smile, feeling a spark at the fact that they're both so blatantly watching him.

The rest of the meal is less eventful when it comes to flirtation, and after two cups of caf, Jyn seems more keen to converse. She tells Bodhi and Cassian both about her terrible trip to the fathier stables, how she’d nearly been goaded into riding one of those poor creatures. It had been as much of a ruse as Bodhi expected, Maris leaning in to ask all the sordid details of their _arrangement_.

“I told her the plot of a holonovel I read in prison, seemed to do well enough for her.”

Bodhi snorts and even Cassian breaks at that, a warm chuckle passing his lips. “Really? Was I the daring pirate captain or was Bodhi?”

“You were the baron in this case, I was the tragically disinherited lady, and Bodhi was my long lost childhood sweetheart. He and I had a very dramatic tryst after reuniting in a spaceport and you, my betrothed, were jealous. I took some creative license, to remove the love triangle of course. It was boring anyway.” 

“You think anything without explosions is boring,” Cassian points out, looking impossibly endeared. 

“Yes, and that’s why I can’t wait for this mission to be _over,"_ Jyn sighs. “I still think we could have fit some grenades in my purse, leave with a bang if things go sideways.”

“They won’t,” Bodhi pipes in, more to bolster his own confidence than anything. “And besides, it’d be a real shame to ruin the house. Current occupants aside.” 

“We’ll try our best not to,” Cassian assures. The words are light and casual but, beneath the act, Bodhi can hear how tired he is. With the gala finally in reach Bodhi feels both hope and anxiety in equal measure, wondering what will come of these quiet moments once they’re back on base, safe to live on their own terms. 

“No promises,” Jyn adds good heartedly. Cassian smiles wryly at her, shaking his head, and in the moment Bodhi can’t help but see a future. The urge to kiss Cassian hasn’t faded, to kiss Jyn just as much, and Bodhi is starting to doubt it ever will. He’s just wondering if he should say something, wanting foolishly to thank them, just for being there, when Cassian breaks the silence with a sigh, standing from the table. 

“It’s getting a bit late. We should probably get ready and go find our hosts,” he says, sounding far from enthused, reality breaking through the easy morning. Jyn pouts, though she’d never admit it, before begrudgingly joining him, heading over to the wardrobe to sort out her next “ungodly outfit.” 

Bodhi knows Cassian is right, that he himself has plenty of work to do on his own. The security room isn’t going to infiltrate itself, he thinks, cringing still at the risk of it all. For _Cassian_ , he reminds himself, for _Jyn_. And for himself, to prove that he could keep them safe just as well.

Jyn heads to the fresher for a quick shower, leaving Cassian no choice but to get ready out in the open with Bodhi. She seems to realize as much, shooting a wink over her shoulder Bodhi’s way before the door shuts. For a moment, Bodhi briefly considers the fact that she really might be trying to kill him.

Cassian is at the closet, stripping down from his sleep clothes, his body lithe and beautiful. Bodhi wants to be more daring, to move close, to strip his own clothes off without flinching. Instead he feels transfixed, flustering when Cassian looks up, eying Bodhi in question once he’s gotten down to his boxers. 

Bodhi realizes he’s been caught staring and ducks his head, murmuring an apology before he turns away completely. His face is hot from the scrutiny, knowing that no matter what they are to each other, or what they might hopefully become, he still shouldn’t be so-

“Bodhi,” Cassian interrupts his spiraling thoughts, signaling that he’s decent, his voice soft and unbothered. Bodhi forces himself to turn back, feigning nonchalance. Cassian’s eyes on him still feel questioning, as if he hasn’t quite sorted out what Bodhi wants, something which feels impossible with how obvious Bodhi has been in the past 24 hours alone. It’s a fleeting thing but it sticks in Bodhi’s mind, wondering if they’re both being too careful with each other after all, if he should be more like Jyn and just _try_.

Instead of rushing away to change or asking Cassian to turn around, Bodhi paces across the room, stopping himself just short of too close. He wants to throw caution to the wind, to kiss Cassian without preamble, but instead he finds himself rambling.

“We, um, we haven’t talked much. Since the lake, or last night, but, can I just-” Bodhi breaks off with a frustrated sigh, still not able to get out the words just right, the want he feels impossible to quantify. He takes a step forward and Cassian doesn’t flinch, still peering at him with more patience than he probably deserves. Bodhi takes a deep breath, lets his tongue dart out to wet his lips in a nervous habit, and only then does Cassian seem to react, swallowing hard.

Bodhi reaches up with both hands to cup Cassian’s jaw, keeping the touch tender, giving him time to pull back if this isn’t what he wants. He stays still, eyes wide on Bodhi, anticipation mounting with each instant. With all the courage and love he feels, Bodhi leans in, and for a breath of time, it seems like Cassian is too. His mouth tilts just within reach before, in a sudden motion, he turns away from the kiss. Bodhi’s mouth lands awkwardly on his cheek, and he doesn’t let it linger, pulling back awkwardly and dropping his hands from Cassian’s face.

Cassian takes a step back, his back hitting the wardrobe door, disengaging from Bodhi completely, as if burned. He won’t look at Bodhi and that fact alone makes his heart hurt, makes him wonder if he’d pushed too hard. 

“Cass, I,” Bodhi starts, feeling ashamed more than anything. He’s willing to apologize, to do anything, if it means Cassian will look at him again.

“I can’t,” Cassian says, suddenly looking back, eyes pleading. Nothing like what Bodhi had been yearning for. Bodhi can’t understand him, and feels suddenly unsure if he ever will. Burying down his grief, he manages a nod. 

“Right,” he says, backing off to give Cassian more space. The selfish part of him wants to demand answers, to suss out just what it is Cassian expects of him, if he expects anything at all. But he can’t ask for that now, can’t force Cassian through it when he so clearly wants nothing to do with Bodhi. 

The rejection feels so out of left field that Bodhi scrutinizes his own actions, wondering how he could have possibly misread things. Gathering the facts in his mind, each touch and glance he’d taken as proof positive, he grapples to make sense of it. He finds himself back at square one, wondering if Cassian will ever really trust him.

Jyn comes out of the fresher, wrapped in a towel and humming to herself, and a panicked look passes across Cassian’s features, pleading for another reason entirely. Bodhi understands that much at least, not wanting to hurt Jyn with the drama he’d caused so needlessly. Not when she’s seemed so content all morning. Maybe that will be all that holds them together in the end, aside from their friendship, the fact that they both love Jyn so much.

Even if it hurts Bodhi, to think Cassian doesn’t share his feelings, he’ll have to learn to live with it. Learn not to be so greedy when a good thing comes his way. Jyn looks between them and Bodhi straightens up, forcing a smile.

“I’ll just get ready in the fresher,” Bodhi says, hating that it’s become such a habitual place for him to hide from his problems. He grabs a set of clothes and new anxiety mounts, hoping they’ll serve as a good enough disguise. “Thought it was best I take care of what we talked about,” he confesses softly, keeping his eyes on Jyn, unable to bear the complicated look on Cassian’s face just yet. It wasn’t as if he supported their plans anyway. “You’ll make the usual excuses?”

“Of course,” she laughs. “Who knows, maybe Maris will send you a fruit basket next.”

She’s still wearing only a towel, and distantly, Bodhi knows he should be more flustered, but after everything, he just wants to be close to her. He steps forward and presses a kiss to her temple, a gesture that’s becoming a familiar go-to.

“As long as I don’t get caught…” Bodhi says self deprecatingly, trailing off at her unamused glare, “I promise to share it with you.” He shoots a final glance Cassian’s way, forcing his easy expression not to falter when he adds, “Both of you.”

Cassian smiles and it doesn’t _look_ forced but… Bodhi knows better now, well enough to see past the act. He smiles back, refusing to let it sting, accepting the soft kiss Jyn presses to his cheek like a balm. Real warmth floods him all over again, making him grateful for what he does have. 

“You’ll be brilliant,” Jyn says, “I mean it. You know those schematics inside and out, the reprogramming will be a cinch.”

“If all else fails with my cover I can always challenge the droids to sabacc, I suppose,” Bodhi jokes dryly, earning him a playful nudge before Jyn finally slips away to get ready. Bodhi takes it as the goodbye it is, knowing how Jyn hates to linger when she’s nervous. More proof of just how much she cares. He turns away before he can blurt out something that means too much, knowing some promises are better kept to himself.

Cassian finally seems to find his voice again, calling out quietly, “See you,” as Bodhi goes. After the tense moment it feels more like an afterthought, his voice casual, betraying nothing. Bodhi waves over his shoulder without looking back, forcing himself to focus on more important things. The next few hours would be challenge enough, even without the distraction of his feelings. It isn’t as if thinking about Cassian’s rejection will do him any good anyhow. 

He slips on the dark button up shirt and pants he’d picked out, with the scant hope of blending in better. He slicks back his hair and scrutinizes himself in the mirror, praying he won’t stick out like a sore thumb all the same. There should be more than enough event staff in the house already, enough that he could slip through the halls undetected. As long as he didn’t run into anyone who knew _Sahar_ already.

For safety’s sake he’d have to be inconspicuous, to keep things quiet and quick. Things that were much more Cassian’s area of expertise. He buries the thought as fast as it comes, determined not to psych himself out, knowing just how much is riding on him doing this right. He thinks of Jyn’s frustration, of Cassian’s dreadful promise in the lake, one last time before centering himself. The layouts and codes he need are all there in his mind, if he can only manage to keep his cool. 

If he’s lucky, it might not even take so long, he thinks sarcastically. All he has to do is convince the droids to let him into the security room, alter the surveillance protocols, and somewhere in between all that, learn how to tamp down his feelings enough not to ruin things. 

Should be easy... _right?_

Bodhi sighs, bracing himself for the day, hoping that maybe, if he just keeps thinking that, he might eventually convince himself.


End file.
